October Soup Series - Vegetable Beef
Cozy season is finally here, and what is cozier than a big bowl of yummy soup? Arguably…nothing. This October I’m going to be sharing several soup recipes with y’all. First up? My all-time favorite - my dad’s vegetable beef soup.
Warning: This soup has quite a few ingredients, and that could definitely seem a little overwhelming at first glance. However, this recipe is actually really easy, and it makes SO MUCH soup! Unless you’re feeding an actual army, I would recommend planning to freeze some of it for a rainy day.
Disclaimer: Feel free to leave out any ingredients you don’t personally care for. Example: cabbage. This is your soup. Make it your way!
Ingredients:
46 oz. tomato juice
64 oz. beef broth
28 oz. crushed tomatoes
14.5 oz. Italian diced tomatoes
1.5 lbs. ground beef
1 green pepper
1 onion
32 oz. frozen vegetables
2 cups of cabbage
2 small potatoes
3 tablespoons brown sugar
1 stick of butter
2 cups of tri-color rotini noodles
salt & pepper to taste
crushed red pepper to taste
Directions:
In a large pot, pour tomato juice, beef broth, crushed tomatoes and Italian diced tomatoes. Cook on high and stir consistently.
In a separate pan, cook ground beef. Add salt & pepper (to taste) + one green pepper (cut into small pieces) and one onion (diced). Once beef is completely cooked add this entire mixture to your soup.
Add frozen vegetables to soup + salt (to taste).
Optional: Cut up approximately 2 cups of cabbage and add to soup.
Peel and cube potatoes and add to soup.
Add brown sugar to soup.
Cut stick of butter into fourths and add to soup.
Add crushed red pepper (or any other seasonings you’d like) to taste.
Bring contents to a boil, and then let simmer for 2-4 hours.
Thirty minutes before serving, add noodles.
Serve with Ritz crackers and/or grilled cheese sandwiches.
Enjoy, friends!
-D
5 Must-Watch Fall Movies
It is officially scary movie season - if you like scary movies that is. But, for those of you who don’t…I give you five must-watch fall (non-scary) movies:
#1 -You’ve Got Mail
Where to watch: free on Max (w/ subscription), rent or buy on Apple TV and Prime
Rating: 10/10
Details (no spoilers!): Set in New York City, this movie is SO COZY. While the entire movie doesn’t take place during the fall, a good portion of it does…which, is there anything better than NYC in the fall? Maybe NYC at Christmas, which you’ll also get a little taste of. Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks are the main characters - need I say more? Nothing gets me in the “fall spirit” quite like watching this movie. It is my #1 pick for must-watch fall movies.
#2 - WHEN HARRY MET SALLY
Where to watch: free on Max and Prime (w/ subscription), rent on Apple TV
Rating: 9.5/10
Details (no spoilers!): Another NYC gem! And, the location isn’t the only thing this movie shares with You’ve Got Mail. It’ll give you all the fall feels, plus a little taste of Christmas (and New Years). Meg Ryan is yet again amazing, as well. A true classic, this movie is super cute. Not to mention the late 80s/early 90s fashion/hairstyles are to die for.
#3 - AUTUMN IN NEW YORK
Where to watch: free on Pluto TV (no subscription required), rent on Prime
Rating: 7/10
Details (no spoilers!): Apparently New York City is the key ingredient for a great fall film. Once again we are in beautiful NYC - in autumn, as you may have gathered from the title. Richard Gere and Winona Ryder are outstanding! Unlike You’ve Got Mail and When Harry Met Sally, you are going to want to break out the tissues for this movie. That’s all I’ll say! This was my first time seeing this movie, but it is definitely a new fall favorite.
#4 - REMEMBER THE TITANS
Where to watch: free on Disney+ (w/ subscription), rent on Prime and Apple TV
Rating: 10/10
Details (no spoilers!): This movie is one of my all-time favorites. Definitely keep the tissues out though! It’ll have you all in your feels. Denzel Washington is AMAZING. Plus, he is supported by an incredible cast including Ryan Gosling, Donald Faison and Hayden Panettiere. Disclaimer: you do not have to like or understand football to love this movie. It’s a MUST-watch, especially for fall.
#5 - Dead Poets Society
Where to watch: rent on Prime and Apple TV
Rating: 7/10
Details (no spoilers!): Somehow I managed to make it to the age of 33 without seeing this movie. It’s definitely a “classic”. Robin Williams is absolutely splendid. If you’re looking for a movie with all the fall vibes, minus the romance, this movie is for you. While I didn’t personally cry, it could be considered a bit of a tearjerker at times. It might not be quite as “fall” as the other movies on this list but, I really enjoyed it.
Happy watching, friends!
-D
Our Staycation in Raleigh, NC
V and I have done quite a bit of traveling this year. So, when it came time to plan his birthday weekend, we decided a staycation was the move. By renting an Airbnb in our city, we could get “away” without all the travel time and gas money (or plane fare). We knew we wanted to stay near the Village District/downtown area because a) we really enjoy that part of town, and b) while it’s not terribly far from our house, it’s also not incredibly convenient. So, we typically only make it out that way once a month or so. We LUCKED OUT in terms of our Airbnb. The location was PERFECT - about a mile from downtown and within walking distance of the Village District (though we didn’t walk because it was 800 degrees outside). The Vintage Mod Pad, as it was called, was seriously the cutest Airbnb ever. I love a midcentury modern vibe, and this place had it! Plus, they had a diffuser/salt lamp with essential oils in the kitchen and crystals scattered throughout the apartment. Right up my alley.
I fell in love with this place as soon as I saw the pictures online, and it was every bit as charming in person. For a full video tour, check out my Instagram.
Just minutes from both the Village District and downtown Raleigh, our food options were essentially endless. Below is a list of the restaurants we ate at over the weekend. Every single one was delicious!
Tazza Kitchen (10/10) - Amazing cocktails, a large variety of food options and the most delicious margherita pizza in all the land. I cannot recommend this restaurant enough. We will definitely be visiting again. I would recommend making a reservation, especially if you’ll be going on a Friday night like we did. Location: Village District
Tupelo Honey Cafe (10/10) - THIS is the place to brunch. I’m not a huge fan of chicken, but V got their famous chicken and waffles and loved them. His meal looked delicious. I played it safe with a traditional breakfast of bacon, eggs and potatoes - also delicious. And, their biscuits…the biggest, fluffiest biscuits that you ever did see. We also enjoyed a round of peach mimosas. Highly recommend! I’d suggest making a reservation if you plan on going for Saturday brunch. Location: Village District
La Santa (8/10) - This was my first visit to La Santa, and it was very yummy. I give it an 8/10 only because I feel like Tazza Kitchen and Tupelo Honey Cafe are on another level, but La Santa was very good as well. We visited on Saturday night, and it was pretty packed. However, we put our name in and by the time we had gone to the bar and gotten a drink, our table was ready. As far as I know they don’t take reservations. Location: downtown Raleigh
Poole’side Pies (11/10) - I know, I know…but THIS PLACE y’all…it was seriously better than the best. I’m not typically a big fan of eggs benedict, but let me tell you…I was BLOWN AWAY. A friend had told me how amazing this dish was, and the waitress confirmed I had to get it. My mouth is watering just typing this. It was BEYOND yummy. I ate every single bite. We also had some yummy cocktails. We went on a Sunday morning for brunch and there was no wait at all. I was actually shocked. I cannot wait to go back here! Location: downtown Raleigh.
Ajisai (5/10) - It’s not that the sushi was bad, this meal just didn’t really compare to the other meals we’d had by this point in the weekend. I would definitely eat here again, but with all the other options nearby it wouldn’t be my first choice. We went on a Sunday night and didn’t have to wait to be seated. I don’t believe they take reservations, but there is a lot of outdoor seating (and some indoor). Location: Village District
The Flying Biscuit Cafe (7/10 - but, the mimosa flight gets a 10/10) - To be fair…I ordered eggs benedict again, the morning after Poole’side. That really wasn’t fair to The Flying Biscuit Cafe. It was good, but didn’t compare to Poole’side’s. They did have mimosa flights though…and that’s important. The flight comes with four different flavors of mimosas, and they are all yummy! We were there on Monday morning. So, there wasn’t a wait, but I imagine it might get a little crazier on weekend mornings. Location: Village District
Okay, let’s chat dessert. We may or may not have visited Tiff’s Treats twice. And, we may or may not have bought a dozen cookies each time. And, we may or may not have eaten every single one before the weekend was over. These cookies are next-level good! The snickerdoodle is to die for. I also loved the sugar and the lemon. V really liked the oatmeal chocolate chip too. I would HIGHLY recommend stopping in if you are in the Village District area. We also grabbed Goodberry’s one night. If you’re not from around here, Goodberry’s is a frozen custard shop. I LOVE me some Goodberry’s. Way better than ice cream in my opinion. There are multiple locations around Raleigh, including the one we visited in the Village District.
We kept it pretty low-key for the majority of this trip - playing games at the Airbnb…well, actually just one game - The Game, getting to bed at a reasonable hour and meandering around the countless shops at the Village District. But, we also attended two different events going on in Raleigh this particular weekend: the NC Vintage Bazaar at the Raleigh Convention Center in downtown and the Art of the Brick LEGO exhibit located on Glenwood Avenue. There is always something going on in downtown Raleigh. These two events just so happened to be going on during our staycation.
I think my favorite thing about our staycation was realizing how much fun we could have in our own city. By staying in a different part of town we really did feel like we were “away” - just without having to take a roadtrip or catch a flight. I would definitely recommend trying a staycation the next time you’re in the mood to get away, but not in the mood to spend a lot of time and money to get somewhere. Also, this is NOT a sponsored post, but gosh Airbnb is just the best!
Happy “trip” planning!
-D
Guest Writer: “Your Guide To A Healthier, More Attractive You: Strategies To Explore”
Hello friends! I am so excited to welcome back Ashley Taylor! Last September, I shared Ashley’s article “How to Say ‘Hello World’ with Confidence Again”. I suppose we’ve started a bit of a tradition because Ashley is back this September, with another inspiring article! Check it out below!
Image: Pexels
In our increasingly health-conscious world, we must consider ways to feel and look our best every day. Here are some tips that can be seamlessly integrated into your daily life. From mindful practices to the company you keep, these strategies are designed to improve your physical appearance and overall well-being.
Step into Comfort and Style with Quality Footwear
The importance of premium footwear goes beyond fashion. Shoes that provide comfort and support contribute to proper body alignment, enhancing your overall appearance and confidence. Moreover, well-made shoes can protect your feet from injuries and provide the necessary support for different activities, whether you’re going for a run or attending a business meeting. It’s an investment in your personal comfort that can make a significant difference in your daily life.
Destress Your Mind with Yoga and Meditation
Tackling stress is crucial for maintaining both mental health and physical attractiveness. Regular yoga and meditation sessions offer a way to manage stress levels, fostering relaxation, sharpening focus, and promoting overall well-being. Additionally, these practices can help improve your posture and flexibility, contributing to a healthier physique. They also train your mind to stay calm and focused even in stressful situations, improving your resilience over time.
Build Your Knowledge With an Online Degree
Building self-confidence can come from within, often blossoming with the acquisition of new knowledge. With the convenience of online education, you could even pursue a degree in education or another field that interests you, fortifying your skill set and paving the way for personal growth. This resource could help guide you on your journey, providing the tools and information you need to succeed. Continuous learning can open up new perspectives, making you more adaptable and well-rounded. It can also ignite a sense of curiosity and enthusiasm, adding an exciting dimension to your life.
Surround Yourself with Positivity
The people you surround yourself with can significantly impact your perspective on life. By choosing to spend time with individuals who inspire and encourage you, you cultivate a positive environment that boosts your self-esteem and happiness. These positive influences can provide valuable advice and feedback, helping you grow and thrive. Plus, their positive energy can be contagious, uplifting your spirits and reinforcing a positive outlook on life.
Chase Your Personal Aspirations
Having personal objectives to work towards instills a sense of purpose and direction. Achieving these goals, whether they pertain to fitness, career, or hobbies, can lead to feelings of accomplishment and enhanced self-worth. Furthermore, the process of striving toward these goals can be rewarding in itself, providing a sense of progress and motivation. It also helps you develop skills such as perseverance and time management, which are valuable in all areas of life.
Be Thankful
Adopting a gratitude practice can shift your focus from life’s challenges to its blessings. This positive perspective can enhance your mood, make you happier, and promote a more optimistic outlook on life. Regularly expressing gratitude also helps you develop a more positive mindset, enabling you to handle difficulties better. Plus, it can make you more mindful of the good in your life, amplifying your overall satisfaction.
Let Laughter Lighten Your Life
Laughter truly can be the best medicine. It acts as a natural stress reliever and mood enhancer. Finding humor in everyday situations can keep your spirits high and contribute to a more positive inner and outer self. Regular laughter can also stimulate your heart, lungs, and muscles, increasing your overall sense of well-being. Plus, sharing a laugh with others can strengthen your social connections, adding joy and camaraderie to your life.
Your well-being is shaped by various factors. Quality footwear, regular yoga, online learning, positive influences, personal goals, gratitude, and laughter all contribute to your overall health and happiness. These elements enhance not just your physical appearance but also your mental state. Remember, well-being is a journey guided by daily choices.
Shop The Blonde Bubble for unique clothing and accessories.
I love these tips! Thanks so much Ashley!
If you or someone you know would be interested in submitting an article to be posted on The Blonde Gem, please reach out via the contact button in the top right corner.
Happy Wednesday, friends!
-D
TFMR: GIFTS
What do you do when someone you love experiences a terrible loss? What do you say? Sometimes there truly are no words. What then? While everyone is different in terms of what they need, I’d like to share some of the ways our circle loved on us, in the form of gifts, during those early weeks after Archie’s diagnosis and passing.
Our friends and family have been so generous to us. They fed us, sent flowers and showered us with precious gifts to help us navigate our grief and remember Archie. It can be difficult, if not impossible, to know how you should respond when someone you love is in the midst of intense grief. Yet somehow our support system cared for us perfectly. As I mentioned…there was food. Lots and lots of food. My best friend, who lives halfway across the country, sent us a smorgasbord of drinks and treats from Starbucks + a delicious First Watch FEAST! (DoorDash for the win!) My bestie and sister-in-law, both of whom also live out of town, offered to send us food on numerous occasions, which was literally the nicest thing ever. If you can’t physically be with someone when they are grieving, sending something is such a kind gesture. My sweet, sweet (local) friend, brought by doughnuts and groceries, plus a delicious Italian meal - all of which she left on the front porch for us, completely respecting our space, while still showing us how much she cared. My two east coast sisters-in-law, who drove hours to see us during that first week after we found out, showed up with a gigantic basket of all our favorite goodies. And, my parents, in addition to sending us away for a week-long vacation, sent their credit card along with us and told us our food was on them too! (Room Service for the win!) I cannot begin to express how helpful it is when you do not have to think about food. We were in no condition to cook or go out in public, for the most part. And, honestly…we didn’t have the mental capacity to plan meals or even decide what we wanted to eat at times. So…life hack: when you don’t know what to do or say…send food.
In addition to feeding us, our people made sure we had plenty of cheerful bouquets scattered throughout the house. Flowers are such a sweet way to show you care. I know not everyone likes getting flowers, but they make me so happy! Not to mention, flowers also symbolize recognition - in this case, the recognition of our sweet Archie. The recognition of both his life and his passing. Which brings me to cards…the sheer number of cards we received, some from people we didn’t even personally know, was astounding. A card is such a simple way to show someone you care. When you don’t have the words…let a card do the talking. Just you sending it is enough to show that you care. Again, it’s the acknowledgment. The acknowledgment that someone is going through something awful, and that you are thinking about them.
Food, flowers and cards aside, there were several incredibly special gifts we received from dear friends. I’d like to share some of those with you. I’ve thought a lot recently about the best ways to respond when someone you love is hurting, or in this case - mourning. As someone who requires a lot of space, there is a fine line between showing me you care, and making me feel overwhelmed or suffocated. I suppose our friends and family know me just that well. Because they truly struck a perfect balance of giving us space and time to grieve, while also showing us they cared. Another life hack: Amazon & Etsy are your friends, especially when there are no words. I hope some of these gifts we treasure will provide some inspiration for the next time you have a friend or family member in the trenches. I know how much each of these items mean to us, and I’m certain they would mean a great deal to anyone grieving a loss.
Photo credit: WildPreciousBoutique - on Etsy
First up, this precious pregnancy loss-themed gift box. My bestie got this for us, and told us to open it whenever we were ready. This box included the most thoughtful items, including this “hug in a mug” coffee mug, which I use ALL the time, a candle, a chakra/lava bead bracelet and accompanying essential oil blend and a key chain of the pregnancy loss awareness ribbon. We have used every single one of these items, and each time I see any one of them, I think of Archie, and I smile.
Another Etsy find, this precious, customized globe was a gift from my best friend. I absolutely love it. We decided to put it in our bedroom, and every time I walk by I think of my sweet boy.
No surprises here, another Etsy find. Like I said, Etsy is where it’s at! They offer so many customizable options, and there is just nothing sweeter than a customized gift. A sweet friend I haven’t seen in years heard about our loss through Instagram and sent me this beautiful necklace with Archie’s name on it. I treasure this piece so much, and have so enjoyed wearing it - carrying a little reminder of Archie with me everywhere I go.
My best friend also gave both Vinnie and I one of these customized key chains with Archie’s name and birthstone on them. We each have one on our keys, and it is such a precious reminder of our angel baby.
One of my dear friends from college sent us this “Remembrance” Willow Tree Angel. I have collected these angels for years, so this was an absolutely perfect gift. We have this angel sitting on the window sill above our kitchen sink. It is so precious to us.
One of our dearest friends sent this devotional (available on Amazon) that I mentioned in my last post. This devotional was the bridge I needed to bring me back to my relationship with the Lord. When I couldn’t pray and couldn’t read my Bible, I read this. I would highly recommend this devotional to any woman dealing with a pregnancy loss.
Often times, it seems there are no words to adequately convey your condolences. When that is the case, sending something is a great way to show you care. It has nothing to do with the monetary value of the gift. As I mentioned, a simple card with a nice poem or a comforting Bible verse is more than enough. A customized or loss-specific gift is another precious gesture. When you are going through the agony that is loss and grief, you just need to know that you are loved, cared for and supported. Texts and phone calls are very sweet, but if you’d like to do something tangible, I hope this blog post provides some insight and inspiration - from a Mom, grieving the loss of her son.
TFMR: Fighting With God
Have you ever been mad at God? Like truly angry with Him? I have. And, to be completely honest…I’m still working through my anger. I refused to pray for the first month and half, or so, after Archie’s death. I was (and am) so angry that God would allow me to carry a baby to 18 weeks - allow me to find out that baby was a boy, name that baby, tell literally everyone about that baby - and then take that baby away. Not only take him away, but force my husband and I to choose the exact moment our baby would die. I have very little experience being a parent, but even so, I find myself asking how a loving parent could allow their child to go through such heartbreak. God is supposed to be a loving Father. He is supposed to be our protector and our safe space. So, how is it that He has allowed me to experience the worst pain I could have ever imagined? People (many of them well-meaning) have lots of go-to phrases in situations like this…"Everything happens for a reason.” Oh really? It makes me feel so much better that there was a good “reason” my child had to die…NOT. “Maybe God knew something was wrong with the baby, and so this was an act of mercy.” Well, maybe God, the creator of the universe, could have not allowed there to be something fatally wrong with my child. Maybe since He is the creator of life He should have created a viable life. “God is good.” That may be true. However, in this moment, God has never felt less “good” to me.
As I said, most people are well-meaning in their attempts to comfort you. But, the bottom line is there are no words. There is no explanation as to why the God I have prayed to since the age of four would allow me to walk this road that I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. I am truly amazed when people go through horrific circumstances and continue to preach things such as "God is good all the time.” I have found this level of faith to be impossible. What about losing a child is good? What about that could possibly by necessary? Is it a test? Is it a punishment? I’d certainly hope not. But, the truth is we do not know why God allows us to go through certain things. We do not and will not always understand why He does what He does, or allows what He allows. I understand that we live in a fallen world, but that isn’t a helpful explanation for this type of trauma. I want to be incredibly transparent, y’all. I have STRUGGLED since 5/8/23 - the day we found out Archie would not survive. I have struggled to believe God is good. I have struggled to pray. I have struggled, perhaps most of all, to trust God. And, how can there be love without trust? Yesterday in therapy, my therapist recommended writing out my feelings in the format of “Even though I feel __________, I know that __________. The idea being that our feelings often contradict what we know to be true. For example: Even though I feel like God has completely abandoned me, I know that He promises to never forsake me. Even though I feel like God is being mean, I know that He is good.
I have been a Christian since I was four years old. I know how I am “supposed to” respond to loss. I know I am supposed to trust God, and lean on Him even when terrible things happen to me. But, what I have also learned over the past three months is that maybe it’s okay if I don’t immediately react the way I’m “supposed to.” My mom, who is one of the most godly women I know, told me recently that God understands the way I am feeling. My therapist further confirmed this by reminding me of the story of Lazarus, in the Bible. When Lazarus died, Jesus wept and mourned with Lazarus’ family and friends. Jesus knew that Lazarus would be resurrected. However, He did not diminish the feelings of those around Him. He understood their need to grieve and allowed them that time and space. What I have come to realize is that God does not expect me to stick a smile on my face and pretend as though nothing is wrong. He does not expect me to do anything other than mourn and grieve at this time. My anger does not surprise Him. He is not caught off guard by my tears of grief, screams of rage or thoughts of despair. He understands, and He waits patiently for me to seek the type of comfort only He can give.
Shortly after Archie’s passing, a dear friend sent me a devotional, Loved Baby, which includes 31 devotionals specific to pregnancy loss. I started reading the devotional before I was ready to start praying again. It was the stepping stone I needed when I just couldn’t bring myself to talk directly to God - unless of course I was angrily telling Him I wasn’t talking to Him. To be honest…a lot of my prayers still include letting God know that I don’t feel like talking to Him. I am honest in saying that I don’t trust Him right now - might as well tell Him…He knows my heart either way. This morning I prayed that God would help me to trust Him again. I want to trust that He still loves me. I want to trust that He knows and understands my desire to have a baby. I want to believe that He is going to allow me to get pregnant again, and to have a healthy baby. I have to actively fight the urge to think that God is purposely going to make it difficult for me to get pregnant this time around because it was just so freaking easy last time. My dad recently reminded me, “You know that’s not how God works.” And, yes, I do. I know He is not spiteful or cruel. I also know that He understands how I could feel that way in this moment. All I can do at this point is ask that He help me to remember and feel His love for me. All I can pray is that He soften my heart and help me to seek His peace, not speculate His plotting.
My life verse is Philippians 4: 6-7 - Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. A “peace that transcends all understanding”. What a lovely thought. I have often prayed these words over friends and family navigating loss or heartbreak. Now I pray these same words over my own life and mind. I pray for a peace, a level of trust, a reminder of God’s faithfulness that surpasses anything this world has to offer. I wanted to write this post because I wanted to be honest about my feelings. I wanted to be vulnerable in the hope that someone reading this might feel less alone, less crazy, less “wrong” for being angry or for questioning God. God invites us to question, to understand. He invites us to communicate with Him, even if that communication is not always pleasant. I am learning to express my feelings (all of them) to God, instead of blocking Him out. I am learning to let Him in to my anger, as opposed to pushing Him away because of it. I am trying, and He is patient.
TFMR: A Letter To My Son In Heaven
The day before the second and final part of my D&E, I wrote a letter to Archie. I was sitting on the couch, cramping (thanks to the multiple dilators inserted a few hours prior) and dreading the following morning with every single thing in me. V had run to the pharmacy to pick up my pain medication (ibuprofen). So, I spent a few minutes writing down everything I wanted to say to Archie - everything I wanted him to know. In perhaps my most vulnerable move ever, I want to share that letter with you. It is not beautifully written or especially inspiring, but it is a true representation of my mind and heart in the hours leading up to his arrival in Heaven.
Archie,
My baby…I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry your sweet life was cut far too short. I’m sorry I’ll never get to hold you, hug you, kiss your little face. I’m sorry I’ll never get to celebrate a birthday, or Halloween or Christmas with you. I’m sorry you’ll never get to meet your amazing Daddy…he seriously would have been the very best daddy. I’m sorry you’ll never get to meet all the people who already loved you so much.
I will miss you more than I know how to express with words. I will miss watching you graduate, get married, start a family of your own. I’m sorry you don’t get to experience those things. I wish more than anything I could have given you life. A full, wonderful life.
I hope you understand this decision your Daddy and I made. I don’t feel 100% confident it’s the right one, but we tried to be the best parents we could be in the worst situation imaginable. I hope you can forgive us and never doubt how incredibly wanted, loved and cherished you are. As soon as I get to Heaven, you’re the very first person I’m coming to find. I will hold you, and hug you and kiss your precious face. In the meantime, I want you to find your great-grandmas (Mary-Grace & Annie Belle Watkins). Yes…both their last names are Watkins. I’ll tell you the story one day. They will take the very best care of you until Daddy and I get there. You will always be our first baby. We will never ever forget you, our sweet boy!
I love you so much Vincent Archer!
Love,
Your Mama
*Fun fact: My Mom and Dad had the same last name BEFORE they got married. So, both sets of my grandparents were Watkins.
I was extremely close to both of my grandmothers, and I know that they were there to welcome my baby into Heaven. Since I live in my maternal grandparents’ house, there are lots of reminders of them around. One such reminder are the blue bird houses in the trees outside. All of my grandparents loved birds, and my Mema especially loved blue birds. So, I’ve chosen them as the symbol to remind me that Archie is safe, he is loved and he is waiting with the rest of my favorite angels to meet me one day. Whenever I see a blue bird in the yard or sitting on the deck, I smile.
TFMR: Precious Remains
Prior to my D&E, we were asked what we would like to do with Archie’s remains. We were given essentially two options: allow the hospital to dispose of them, or have them sent to a funeral home in our area. I knew for certain I wanted what was left of our sweet baby. So, we opted to have a local funeral home cremate his remains. The Monday following my D&E, the funeral home called to advise we could pick up Archie’s ashes. I was blown away at how quickly they had called. I had just had the D&E on Thursday, but I was thrilled…or as thrilled as you can be about picking up your baby’s ashes. I just wanted to hold him. Holding his ashes would be the first time I got to physically “hold” my baby. V and I drove to the funeral home during his lunch break, where we were greeted by the sweetest woman. She escorted us into a private room to wait while she went to retrieve the ashes. It’s impossible to explain the thoughts running through my head as we waited in that very hot little room. It was surreal to realize we were waiting to pick up our son’s ashes. I couldn’t help but wonder how on earth we got here. As I replayed the past two weeks in my head, I tried to hold back the tears that so desperately wanted to be released. Moments later we were brought the tinniest box with the most precious contents I’ve ever held.
I couldn’t fathom that my baby was inside this box. The remains of his little body that I never got to hold now rested in this container. When we got home I wanted to see the ashes themselves. I needed to physically see what was left of him. I was shocked by how small the amount of his remains was. Yet another reminder that he was taken too soon, robbed of the life I so desperately wanted to share with him. I knew that I wanted to put some of his ashes into a necklace that I could wear everyday. So, I ordered a beautiful necklace on Etsy, and impatiently waited for it to arrive. I needed to have a piece of him with me at all times, on my body since he could no longer be in my body. When the necklace arrived, V and I immediately sat down at the dining room table to transfer a small amount of the ashes into my necklace. We filled my little necklace, which I have worn every single day since. I sleep in it, shower in it and work out in it. I never want to take it off.
When Archie was still inside of me, particularly after we found out he would not survive, I would often touch my stomach as a way to feel close to him, to “touch” him. But, in the days since the D&E, I found myself with nothing to touch when I missed him or thought of him. My necklace fixed that. I now grip the little urn that hangs from my neck whenever I think of my little boy - when I miss him, the life we were supposed to have together, the time we never got. I doubt I will ever stop wearing this necklace. We had quite a bit leftover after filling my necklace. So, I asked my mom if she would like to have some of Archie’s ashes for her own necklace. She eagerly said “yes”. So, we ordered her an urn necklace from Etsy, as well. Archie would have been her first grandchild. So, it’s very special for her to be able to carry a piece of him with her.
Despite what I initially thought was a very small amount of ashes, we still have the majority left after filling both mine and my mom’s necklaces. I’d like to get a little urn to display somewhere in our home. I know people have very different preferences when it comes to cremation vs. burial, and also what to do with someone’s ashes if they are cremated. For me, I want the reminder. As nice as the idea of sprinkling them somewhere special or meaningful is, I want to physically have all that’s left of my little boy. I want his earthly remains close to me. This makes me feel a connection to him. I doubt there will ever be a day that goes by when I don’t think of him. So, it’s not as if my necklace or an urn placed in our home is going to bring up feelings or emotions that aren’t already there. Again, this is just my preference, but I would encourage anyone dealing with a similar situation to listen to and respect your own personal needs. Whatever that may look like. What we do with a loved one’s remains is so essential to our healing. How we choose to honor/remember them is more for us than it is for them. So, do what feels most appropriate and beneficial for your mental and emotional wellbeing. In my case that looks like carrying a piece of Archie with me everywhere I go.
TFMR: The Aftermath
The Saturday before we were told our baby wouldn’t live, we had emptied out our guest room, in preparation to start on the nursery. V wanted to get it done early so we weren’t scrambling during the final weeks of pregnancy. When we realized we would not be painting the walls and figuring out where to put the crib, I couldn’t bring myself to put anything back in that space. So, we bought an air mattress.
The day of my surgery, we were back home before lunch since mine was the first of the day. So, we blew up our new air mattress in the living room and spent the rest of the day there. We binge watched Queen Charlotte on Netflix, and snacked on a delicious Italian feast my dear friend had dropped by for us. As I mentioned at the end of my last post, the physical recovery was easy enough. I felt essentially back to normal within a couple of hours of my surgery. I never had any cramping or pain, just some light bleeding for the first week or two. However, the mental and emotional recovery is still ongoing as I write this post, and will likely always be from what I understand from those who have walked this path ahead of me. Have you ever heard someone talk about being lonely even in a crowded room? That’s kind of what it felt like waking up from surgery and in the days that followed. I cannot describe the empty, hollow feeling I experienced, knowing that my baby was no longer with me. I cried off and on in the week that followed, and to be completely honest…I still cry off and on. Yesterday was an especially hard day. That is to be expected though. I know that some days will always be harder than others. For example, will I ever not feel extreme pain on October 6th (Archie’s due date)? Will May 18th (the day of my D&E) ever feel normal moving forward? Will I ever not notice the date on February 2nd (the day I found out I was pregnant with my first baby)? I know that Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas will likely be excruciating this year. We were supposed to have a newborn. Instead our arms will be empty and our hearts will ache. I worry about how I will feel when I (God willing) hold my second baby in my arms for the first time. Will I think of Archie? I don’t have all the answers, in fact I have very few of them. I’m certainly no expert on grief or loss, but I do want to share what has helped me so far.
The day after my surgery, V and I ventured out to one of our favorite places (Barnes & Noble) for a little retail therapy. But, first we had lunch at the nearby Mexican restaurant. At some point during that meal, I realized I was not ready to be out and about. By the time we were done with lunch and shopping, I was spiraling. I needed to be in the safety of my house. I needed to be away from people - away from ALL the pregnant women and baby strollers that now seemed to cross my path. Because I felt so normal physically, I had assumed I would be fine to get out of the house. So, this is your reminder to take your time. If you are grieving, give yourself grace. Don’t push yourself to jump back into the swing of things the next day, or even the next week. It’s okay if you need time. I don’t think I left our house (other than to pick up Archie’s ashes) for the next week. My bestie came in to town the Sunday, following my surgery on Thursday. She stayed with me all week, while V returned to work. V, my bestie, and I had all agreed I didn’t need to be by myself all day. It wasn’t until Thursday that my bestie pushed me to get out of the house. She went with me to get my nails done and took me to Target to pick up a few things. Otherwise, we spent the week on the couch. That was what I needed. I needed someone to just sit with me. She told me at the end of the week that she felt bad we hadn’t gotten out and done more. But, that week was exactly what was necessary for me to begin the healing process. I took naps. I stayed off of social media. I cried when I needed to. It’s so true that sometimes you just need someone to sit with you. No talking. Just sitting. And, sometimes you need someone to talk and cry to, as well. My bestie met all of these needs and more. She unloaded the dishwasher, offered to help with laundry, helped pick up the house… I will never ever forget those things. You will always remember who was there when you needed them the most.
My best friend and her husband offered to take us on a getaway that weekend, and we accepted. By that point I was ready to get out of the house, and V and I both felt that a change of scenery would do us good. We all met up in Hilton Head, SC. They flew all the way from Wisconsin to see us, and again…sit with us. We sat in the Airbnb, we sat on the beach, we sat at the Salty Dog Cafe. They just loved on us, and kept us distracted. I’ve learned that sometimes you have to take a break from grieving, even if it’s just for a few hours or days. For the 72 hours we spent with them, I was able to set my grief aside (for the most part) and just be present with some of my very favorite people. When they flew home on Monday, V and I stayed in Hilton Head. My parents had offered to send us away somewhere for a week, and we chose Hilton Head since we had never been. Spending that week away was honestly the best thing that we did. I cannot express how healing it was to spend that one-on-one time together. We needed to be away from our house, from our routines, from our regular food and from people. We sat on the beach for hours and hours that week. We read books, and talked, and cried. We ordered an insane amount of room service, and we binge watched the new season of Selling Sunset. My birthday just so happened to fall in the middle of that week, as well. It was a very different birthday than I had planned. We originally had a doctor’s appointment scheduled on my birthday. I remember thinking how special it would be to see little Archie on my birthday. Instead I journaled my angry thoughts at God, while sitting in my beach chair drinking Pink Whitney. V received five days of bereavement, which was incredible. Thanks to that, our best friends, and my parents, we had a truly healing week away. By the end of the week I was ready to be back at home, and fall into some sense of a routine.
Our adorable Airbnb in Hilton Head, SC
One month after we were told Archie wouldn’t live, I announced (on social media) what the past four weeks of our lives had entailed. I was nervous and hesitant to share, but I had posted so much about my pregnancy on Instagram, TikTok and Facebook that I knew I needed to say something. Quite a few people had realized I’d gone completely MIA, with no warning, and assumed something was wrong. The outpouring of love and support that we have received since that initial post has been nothing short of amazing. I had no idea how much I needed to hear people say “I’m sorry”. I didn’t realize how comforting it would be to have friends and family acknowledge our loss, and I was truly shocked by how many people reached out, sharing their own stories of miscarriage, loss, etc. I know not everyone feels this way, but I so appreciated people sharing their stories with us. It made me feel so much less alone. If so many other people had gone through something similar, surely we could survive this. A lot of those people have other children too. I remind myself of this often, when I start to feel hopeless. I worry if I will ever have a healthy child. It feels more likely that something will go wrong than not. I desperately want to be pregnant again, but I have so much fear and anxiety. I know I will not have a moment of peace until we have a healthy anatomy scan at 18 weeks, and even then…there are so many things that can go wrong right up until birth. Not to mention afterwards. I am starting up therapy again next month, and I hope to work through some of these concerns and fears. But, for now…I’m doing the best I can.
TFMR: My D&E
In the days leading up to my D&E I did a lot of research on what exactly the procedure entails. Unfortunately, I struggled to find the detailed information I felt I needed in order to calm my anxiety. For that reason, I want to provide a detailed, step-by-step, account of what the process looks like. I will start by saying that the emotional and mental aspects were more difficult than the physical experience. As I mentioned in my previous post, I struggled with what was going to physically happen to my baby during the D&E. I also dreaded the emptiness I expected to feel once Archie was no longer inside of me. While I had never felt him kick, I would often place my hand on my stomach, especially after we found out he would not survive. It provided a sense of comfort, knowing that I was “touching” him as much as I would ever be able to. But, soon my body would be void of his little life. And, then what? I was caught in this place of wanting to get the procedure over with, and trying to treasure every moment I had with Archie before he was gone forever.
The D&E procedure is a two day process, but I did not have to stay in the hospital overnight. That was a huge relief. On Wednesday, May 17th, V and I went to my doctor’s office where I underwent what essentially felt like a more intense pap smear. It was not pleasant, but also not unbearable. It was definitely worse than the actual procedure the following day. I won’t pretend to understand all of the medical ins and outs of what exactly was done. But, basically my doctor started the process of dilating my cervix on Wednesday morning, in preparation for my procedure on Thursday morning. I did receive two injections (I think into my cervix, though I could be wrong on the exact location) to help with the pain. These injections felt like a tiny pinch. Again…uncomfortable, but not unbearable. My doctor then placed five dilators into my cervix. My understanding is these dilators work similarly to a tampon - they expand once they are inserted, thus slowly dilating your cervix. I took ibuprofen around the clock for the remainder of the day to help manage any cramping, pain, etc. I also used a heating pad. The “pain” really just consisted of period-style cramping. Again…uncomfortable, not unbearable.
I had a 7:30 am surgery time. So, we had to be at the hospital at 5:30 am on Thursday morning. I was not able to eat or drink anything after midnight, with the exception of a gatorade that I was told to drink right before I walked into the hospital. I was advised this would help with recovery. I had also been prescribed two tiny pills that I was to put under my tongue before I entered the hospital. After 30 minutes, I was allowed to have a little bit of water to wash the pills down. These pills helped to further soften my cervix in preparation for surgery. We arrived at the hospital and checked in. We were then almost immediately sent to discuss payment for the procedure, which felt like very poor timing. *If a hospital tries to charge you the full balance on the day of your procedure, ask to make payments instead. This was not an option that was offered to us, but once we asked we were advised that was fine and asked how much we wanted to pay that day. *I will also note that it is very important to contact your insurance prior to scheduling a D&E. My doctor’s office was able to provide me with the billing code for the procedure, and I was then able to confirm that my insurance would help to cover it. Had they not, I was advised that Planned Parenthood would have been a cheaper option. Once done with the financial aspect, we were sent to a second waiting area where we waited maybe 15-20 minutes to be called back. I was incredibly uncomfortable during this time. I had not taken any ibuprofen since the day before, and was not able to take any that morning. I was in quite a bit of pain - heavy cramping. I wasn’t sure if I would have to pee in a cup before the surgery. So, I was scared to pee, but I couldn’t wait. *You will not have to pee in a cup before this procedure - I assume because they already know that you are pregnant? Shortly after I got back from the bathroom we were called back by my pre op nurse.
I cannot adequately express how amazing every single person we encountered after that was. My nurse was so kind and reassuring. She walked us back to the pre op holding area where we had a bed and a chair, located behind a curtain. She then stepped out long enough for me to change into my hospital gown. When she asked if I was nervous, I told her I was terrified. She advised me not to worry and assured me that we were going to get through this. Just her saying we as opposed you was so comforting. She also told me that she had had two previous D&Es. This was SO comforting - to know that the person taking care of me before my surgery knew exactly what it was like to be in my shoes (or hospital socks in this case). I had never had any type of surgery before - not even wisdom teeth surgery. I’d never gone under anesthesia either. So, I really had no idea what I was walking into. Honestly the worst part of the procedure (physically) was the IV. The nurse had told me this would be the case. It was quite a bit more painful than having blood drawn. I can’t watch this kind of stuff, but V confirmed it was a big needle. I just remember being so incredibly thirsty at this point. I would have done just about anything for a cup of water. I was told that the IV would help with that feeling, which I guess it did. I was also advised that pain medication would be provided through the IV, as I was very uncomfortable (cramping). I asked if I could be given something for anxiety. I’m not sure what they gave me, but I received something through my IV to help with that, as well. I was also able to take a Xanax the morning of the surgery, which I was SO grateful for.
I was so incredibly nervous and then to make matters worse - I got very nauseous all of the sudden. The nurse had stepped out, but V was with me. I asked him if there was a trashcan in the room and thankfully there was. He handed me the trashcan and I immediately vomited several times - essentially losing all of the gatorade I had consumed shortly before. My doctor had arrived by this point and told me that I could blame her for getting sick. Apparently the pills I had taken before walking into the hospital can cause nausea/vomiting. The anesthesiologist had also popped in to introduce herself - literally the kindest human ever. I had been told that I would be able to breath on my own during surgery. However, since I had gotten sick, the anesthesiologist advised that she would prefer to insert a breathing tube (no idea if this is the correct terminology) into my throat just to be on the safe side. I confirmed this would take place after I was asleep, so I wasn’t worried about it. The anesthesiologist’s assistant and a resident doctor, both of whom would also be in the operating room, stopped by to introduce themselves as well. I was honestly just blown away by how kind and attentive everyone was. They all reassured me so much and made me feel so safe. Each one of them was seriously the biggest blessing.
When it was finally time to be taken back to the operating room, V and I were both pretty emotional. My nurse stayed with him and the anesthesiologist’s assistant and resident doctor rolled me back to the operating room. The resident doctor made sure I was okay and assured me everything was going to be fine. Once in the operating room there is very little I remember. I was transferred onto the operating table and the anesthesiologist’s assistant asked what type of music I would like to listen to. “Taylor Swift.” That’s the last thing I remember. The procedure itself lasted less than an hour. When I woke up in post op a different nurse was there. She sent for V and gave me some apple juice while I waited. I was nearly immediately overcome with emotion. I cried the entire time I was in post op. I felt so empty. Archie was gone. He was no longer in my stomach. He was no longer alive. It was the lowest feeling. My parents had come to wait with V while I was in surgery. So, I asked V to have my mom come back. It was just one of those moments that I needed my Mama. Shortly after she poked her head from behind the curtain, and held me as I cried.
I was surprised that I was essentially free to go after that. The nurse told me I could leave whenever I felt up to it. I finished my apple juice, and then V helped me get changed back into my clothes. I was so grateful to see a wheelchair - I just didn’t have the mental capacity to walk out on my own. Physically, I honestly probably could have, but I guess that isn’t allowed anyway? The gentleman who escorted us out waited with me while V went to get the car. Again…SO kind. I was bleeding quite a bit initially, but otherwise I felt pretty normal physically. Mentally and emotionally, I was beyond broken.
TFMR: No Good Option
After we made the incredibly difficult decision to terminate our pregnancy, we had to make another impossible choice - how were we going to get Archie’s body out of my body? I had done a bit of research on a D&E prior to my conversation with my doctor, and I was quite honestly appalled at how barbaric the procedure is. Vinnie didn’t want to know the specifics, but I needed to know every detail. When my doctor called I assumed a D&E was a given. However, she let me know there was another option. I could actually give birth to Archie. I was advised that they would stop his heart and then induce me. He would not be alive at birth, but we would be able to hold his little body once I delivered. I desperately wanted to hold him, to kiss him, to touch him just once. Vinnie doesn’t do as well with dead bodies, so while I knew he would support whatever I wanted to do, I also knew this option probably was not his first choice.
The pro, in my opinion, was getting to hold my little boy - his lifeless body, but still. There would be a certain amount of closure that holding his body would bring. It would also help this whole thing seem a bit more real - that I was a mom, I mean. When you never get to see your child or touch them, it can feel like they don’t truly exist. In the mental anguish I was now living in, I struggled to understand that I am still a mom, and will always be a mom from this point forward. My child is dead, but he is still my child. He still very much existed even though I never physically got to hold him or kiss his little face. The con was the idea of going through labor and delivery (a process that as I’ve mentioned previously, I find completely terrifying) knowing that my baby would already be dead at birth - knowing that there was no “prize” at the end. The pain would not disappear when I held him in my arms. Instead it would multiply infinitely as I felt his death in my hands. As much as I did want to hold Archie, and maybe even take a picture with him, I almost instantly knew this option was not for me. My mental health was in no condition to go through this specific experience.
That left the D&E option… I had heard of a D&C before - my mom had one before I was born, and a close friend of ours had had one, as well. I didn’t know much about the process, but I had at least heard the name “D&C”. A D&E, I learned, stands for dilation and evacuation. Evacuation…that word stung. Archie would be evacuating my body. I would be left empty, with no baby. Worse than the name was the information I quickly learned about the procedure itself. In my next post I’m going to share about my experience on the day of my D&E, and the day prior. But, in this post…as incredibly triggering as it is…I want to share about Archie’s experience….or at least what I know happened to his physical body. My number one concern was him feeling any pain. And, if you’re not familiar with the D&E process, you’ll very soon understand why. I do want to preface this next paragraph by saying these details are not for the faint of heart, and they will not be easy to read.
Through my own research and the information provided by my doctor I learned that the D&E procedure consists of the baby being dismembered and removed in pieces. You read that correctly. It sounds like something out of a twisted, horror film. The doctor begins by removing the baby’s limbs one at a time. When it is time to remove the baby’s head, the doctor crushes the skull and removes the head in pieces. For this process, they do NOT stop the baby’s heart first… I couldn’t fathom that this was the other option we had. It was labor or this? My doctor assured me that both procedures were safe, however she did recommend the D&E over labor and delivery, as the risk of infection is lower.
As I sat on the other end of the phone, trying to hold my composure, I confirmed my choice….the D&E. I couldn’t believe it as I heard the words leave my mouth. I couldn’t believe I was going to literally not only allow, but choose to have my baby ripped limb from limb. But, I truly did not believe that A) there was any good option here, or B) I would survive the labor and delivery route. I didn’t know that Vinnie would survive that route. I didn’t know that it was beneficial to anyone, including Archie. Either way, his death would be nearly instant. I could not bring myself to ask the doctor if Archie would feel any pain. I physically could not get out the words. We don’t remember pain we experienced as babies. So, I told myself he wouldn’t remember it. As I write this I wonder if I made the right choice. As with the decision to terminate the pregnancy, I don’t know that I will ever truly have “peace” about this choice, but it is the choice I made. It is the choice I have to live with.
TFMR: An Impossible Choice
Bilateral Multicystic Dysplastic Kidneys (MCDK) - this is the tongue twister of a condition Archie was diagnosed with at our 18 week anatomy scan. I had never even heard of such a condition, which makes sense because it is rare. Knowing next to nothing about MCDK, pregnancy in general or medical science, left us at the mercy of the doctors’ explanations and our own research. During that first awful conference room chat, just moments after our anatomy scan, the doctor explained that Archie’s kidneys had not formed properly - they were filled with cysts. Since his kidneys were not functioning as they should be, Archie was not producing any urine, which news to me - is what the majority of the amniotic fluid surrounding the baby is - urine. Not only were his kidneys an issue, but because there was no fluid surrounding him, we were advised his lungs would not develop properly either.
It was too much information, and not enough at the same time. Of course our first question was, “What does this mean?” If a baby has one multicystic dysplastic kidney that baby will likely be perfectly fine. The affected kidney will essentially disappear over time and they will be left with one healthy, functioning kidney - all that is needed for survival and a fairly normal life. However, both of Archie’s kidneys were affected, leaving him with no functioning kidneys. Bilateral MCDK is even rarer…the chances of this happening were so slim, yet here we were. It was happening. Our two options had been laid out for us during that first conversation - go to term and if he survives that long, he will either be stillborn or live just moments after birth. Or, terminate the pregnancy. As I mentioned at the end of the last post, there was also a ticking clock… In the state of North Carolina, a termination cannot be performed after 20 weeks, 6 days. Period. It doesn’t matter what the circumstances are. Ridiculous in my opinion, but nobody asked me… There wasn’t time to sit with this news and process it. We weren’t able to take a week to weigh the pros and cons, to seek a second opinion, to pray. We had to make this decision like yesterday.
Enter option three - let me explain a few things about the clinical trial we were informed about the morning after our anatomy scan. There are several trial locations throughout the country. The closest to us being Johns Hopkins, in Maryland. I reached out to the contact person at Johns Hopkins after we got home from our meeting with the genetic counselor, just over 24 hours after our anatomy scan and Archie’s diagnosis. In order to participate in the trial, we would need to travel to Maryland the following week (it was Tuesday, May 9th, at this point), where I would undergo testing to determine if we even qualified for the trial. The results would take roughly three weeks. In three weeks we would be past the 20 week, 6 day cutoff for a NC termination. This was infuriating to me. Again, there just wasn’t any time to decide - thanks to a stupid law that doesn’t take into consideration the hell that parents considering the termination of a wanted pregnancy have to go through. I hands down, 100% would have gone to Maryland to see if we qualified had there not been the 20 week, 6 day cutoff. But, knowing the timeline we were working with, if we waited to see if we qualified and didn’t or decided not to go through with the trial, we would then have to seek a termination out of state. Our doctor advised that we could try and do that, but it would be very difficult. So, essentially we had to make a decision without knowing whether or not we qualified for the trial. Assuming we did qualify, we would need to move to Maryland prior to 26 weeks and stay there through postpartum. This would mean renting an apartment, or other long-term rental, in Maryland. It would mean Vinnie requesting medical leave from his job, which is our primary source of income. And, it would also mean being completely secluded from our friends and family - our support system. We don’t know a single soul in Maryland. The logistics made my head spin, but this was our child. We had to do, to try everything, right?
Participation in the trial would have looked something like this: me going in three times a week, starting at 26 weeks, to have fluid inserted into the amniotic sac so that Archie’s lungs could develop. If Archie survived birth, he would then immediately be placed on dialysis for the next year of his life. At the one year mark he would have needed a kidney transplant. It seemed like a long shot, but I was holding onto anything I could get ahold of. The genetic counselor had given us a brief overview of the results thus far (this is an ongoing trial), which weren’t especially hopeful either. Out of a handful of babies, I believe she said eight, three had survived and were approaching their first birthday, which would be followed by a kidney transplant. The other babies in the trial had either been stillborn or died shortly after birth. To recap, we could have gone through this entire trial and more than likely would still have ended up with a stillborn or a baby who died in the delivery room. I know myself, and I knew I would not survive going through this process and still losing Archie. But, could we seriously not even try?
I agonized over which decision was less selfish. Was it selfish to terminate the pregnancy? To take the “easy” way out? Or, was it selfish to put our son through so much, just because we couldn’t let go of the idea of him? I kept thinking about his quality of life if he survived. I couldn’t fathom putting a baby through a year of dialysis. There just really was no good option. We talked with our parents, with our sisters, with our best friends, all of whom were so incredibly supportive. Every single one of them let us know they would support us no matter what we decided to do. I will never be able to tell them how much this meant to us.
After a long day of back and forth, we decided to go to a Mexican restaurant for dinner, mostly to get out of the house. When we left home, I was almost certain I wanted to see if we qualified for the trial, and participate if accepted. By the time we pulled into the restaurant parking lot, I had changed my mind. I don’t know how to explain it exactly, but I just had this overwhelming feeling that this was not a battle we were going to win. This trial was not our journey. It just didn’t make sense for us. It feels selfish to say, but mentally I knew I was not strong enough. Financially, it would have been suicide for us…and that sounds shitty (and it is), but you have to think about that. You have to think about if you can afford to try and keep your baby alive. Physically, I was past the point of caring what I had to go through, but I did care what Archie would have to endure. Vinnie and I talked about it over dinner, and ultimately decided we would terminate the pregnancy.
TFMR: What now?
I will never be able to adequately describe the thoughts and emotions you experience after being told you are carrying a child who isn’t going to survive. You know how waking up becomes a battle after you have suffered a loss or a trauma? You open your eyes in the mornings that follow, and for a split second you think maybe it was a dream. That’s what every single moment felt like as we road the elevator down to the first floor, walked to the car and drove home from the doctor’s office that morning. In 15-second intervals, my brain would convince me this wasn’t happening, just to then remind me that I was awake, and this was real, and my baby was dying. Vinnie and I were both nearly speechless on the car ride home. My mind spun in circles as it tried over and over to process the news that we wouldn’t, in fact, be decorating a nursery this month. We wouldn’t be welcoming our son this fall. We wouldn’t be celebrating Christmas with a newborn. In a split second so many things had changed.
One blaring thought kept inserting itself into the downward spiral of my mind…we had to tell our families. Our parents would be devastated… I couldn’t even fathom how and when we would break the news, but I knew it had to be sooner rather than later. Walking into our house felt like a bad dream…a nightmare. I poured myself a mug of tequila, and sat on the couch - ready to cry, to drink, to die it felt like. How could we possibly go on? Vinnie went outside to call our parents, a task I will be eternally grateful to him for taking on. I couldn’t talk. I couldn’t text. I couldn’t live, at least not in any similar sense to the way I had just hours before. Vinnie texted my sisters-in-law and my best friends. He handled all of the communication. He was truly amazing.
In the hours that followed I tried to understand how we had gotten to this place. This place of having to choose between terminating this pregnancy, or going full term and giving birth (a process that already terrified me to my very core) to a baby, who would either be stillborn or live only moments past birth. I knew I couldn’t do that… I knew I couldn’t carry Archie for 22 more weeks, knowing he was going to die before I ever got to bring him home. I knew I could not go through hours of labor knowing I would never get leave the hospital with him. But, how could I agree to the alternative? How could I agree to kill my child? I know people feel differently on this issue (and I respect everyone’s right to choose), but for V and I, we considered this child a living being the moment the test said “pregnant”. We had seen his little body move on the ultrasound; we had now heard his heartbeat. He was very much alive to us, and termination just felt like a fancy word for murder.
There was no good option here. Yet we had to make a choice. The agony of that first 24 hours was unlike anything I have ever experienced. The following morning we returned to the doctor’s office, which was an extremely triggering experience in and of itself. All I could think was, “When we walked in here yesterday, we had no idea how much everything was about to change.” We met with a genetic counselor who kindly and patiently explained our options. First, we could do some additional genetic testing to confirm if V or I were carriers for anything that could potentially lead to this situation again. I felt like the scum of all mothers even thinking about future pregnancies while Archie was still alive in my stomach. Yet…I needed to know if this could happen again. We agreed V and I would both have our blood taken and sent off for evaluation. We were told Archie’s condition was most likely a completely random occurrence, which made me feel better, and infuriated me all at once. This didn’t feel random. It felt like God purposely allowed this to happen to us. It felt like He had signed off on this cruel fate. But…there was a glimmer of hope. Maybe I was naive, or maybe I was in denial, but when I heard the words “clinical trial” my heart grabbed on to a shred of hope. I asked for more information on the trial - the results, success stories, qualifications, etc. There were no success stories, yet. My heart sank again…this trial seemed anything but a solution, but I still needed to know more. The genetic counselor told me what she knew about the trial, which understandably wasn’t much, and she printed off some information for us to review. There were several locations around the country where the trial was taking place. The nearest to us was in Maryland - Johns Hopkins.
As my mind began racing, reaching for hope, we were escorted back to an ultrasound room. We had been advised a second ultrasound was needed to confirm the horrible findings of the day before. Once again, I held V’s hand as the ultrasound tech squirted the warm liquid onto my stomach and moved my seat into a leaned back position. There it was again….Archie’s heartbeat. What should have been such a wonderful sound, felt like the equivalent of nails on a chalkboard. That little beating heart, reminding me that my baby was alive, but that he was going to die…and the decision of when was up to me. That is a level of cruelty I would not wish on my most hated enemy. The results of the second ultrasound confirmed those of the first.
As we sat, waiting to have our blood taken, I read every word of the pages the genetic counselor had printed out for us. I HATE having my blood taken in the first place, but today it was extra painful. I wasn’t having my blood taken to find out the gender, like I had done several weeks prior. I was having my blood taken to see if there was something wrong with me…something about my body that could potentially put us in this same horrible situation again.
When we got in the car to drive home, we had our first real opportunity to discuss the clinical trial. A discussion that we would spend the remainder of the day agonizing over. In North Carolina, we would not be able to terminate the pregnancy after 20 weeks, 6 days. So, in addition to making an impossible choice, we had to make it fairly quickly. Plus, we now had a third option to consider, if we even qualified for the trial.
TFMR: Anatomy Scan From Hell
I looked out the car window, attempting to distract myself from the anxious thoughts swirling through my mind. We know he has two legs - we’ve seen them during previous ultrasounds. We just need to see ten little toes, two arms and ten little fingers, I thought. Oh, and a heartbeat. Please God let there be a heartbeat… One of my favorite bloggers had recently posted on her Instagram stories before and after her anatomy scan. She made the process seem so simple. She spoke to her followers from her car prior to the appointment, and then reported back that everything looked great shortly after. Please let ours be that simple, God. Vinnie held my hand as we walked into the building housing our doctor’s office. As we road up the elevator to the third floor, I made one more silent plea - Please God let everything go well in here.
As we had for each of our previous visits, we checked in, chose a seat and waited to hear my name. “Danielle.” We were escorted back to the ultrasound room by the tech who had performed our first ultrasound weeks before. Vinnie held my hand as she squirted the warm liquid onto my stomach. And, there he was. My sweet little Archie. I loved seeing him on the screen. It always gave me such peace of mind to see him wiggling around on the tv monitor. A HEARTBEAT! THANK GOD! It was the first time we had ever heard his heartbeat. I would have expected the tech to point this out, like they do on TV. Then Vinnie and I would have shared a tearful smile, as it sank in that we were listening to the beat of OUR baby’s heart. But, that didn’t happen…
“Danielle, I don’t see any fluid…” I could tell by the tone of her voice that this was bad news, but in complete denial, I asked, “Is that bad?” In a statement that was nothing short of infuriating, she responded, “The doctor will come in and talk to you.” Well, then why say anything at all? Don’t tell me something if you can’t also explain what it means. I watched her face through tears collecting in the corners of my eyes, as she continued to study the screen in front of her. I immediately began a desperate, repetitive prayer. Please God! Please! Please let him be okay. The tech handed me a paper towel to wipe off my stomach, sat me up and advised she would go and speak with the doctor. I had no sense of time after that, other than that every moment felt like an excruciating eternity. I looked at Vinnie, who I could tell was trying to stay positive. I moved to the chair beside him and grabbed my phone out of my purse. “What does it mean if there is no fluid around a baby at 18 weeks?”, I typed. My eyes frantically scanned the search results. Okay, okay…this might be okay. I skimmed various articles, none of which used the word “miscarriage”. A knock at the door… THANK GOD. The ultrasound tech poked her head in and advised the doctor would like her to do a vaginal ultrasound to get a closer look. Great…
As she lowered me into an almost completely horizontal position, I gripped Vinnie’s hand. Tears continued to puddle in my eyes as I watched the screen. The tech had advised she was looking for the kidneys and the bladder…two things it hadn’t even occurred to me to stress about. As she asked me to turn from side to side my heart sank…she wasn’t seeing what she was supposed to be seeing. But, wait! With a few clicks, she identified something on the screen and typed the word “kidneys”. Whew! Okay, there they are. Now we need a bladder. She again handed me a paper towel and advised she would go speak with the doctor. No mention of a bladder… As she exited the room for now the second time, the tech said “I’m sorry.” I’m sorry what? Wait…WHAT? What are you sorry about? And, why won’t you tell us any actual information?!
I’m certain no more than a few minutes went by, though I felt as though time was standing still…trapping us in this awful dark room. A knock… her head… “We’re actually going to have you come down to a conference room.” SHIT! Shit! Shit! Shit! Again, denial set in. As we walked down the hall I held on to the tiniest bit of hope. Maybe there is just something wrong, but they can fix it. Maybe they are just going to talk to us about our options to fix whatever the problem is. There were tissues on the desk…my heart sank even lower. A man we had never met entered the room almost immediately. “How are we doing today?” he asked. You cannot be serious right now… “Well, I was doing good, but now not so much,” I replied. “Yea,” he stated, with a less chipper tone than his original (stupid) question.
The next half an hour (or some similar timeframe), is burned into my memory and yet it’s a complete blur, as well. Terminology I didn’t understand flooded the room, as my brain tried to keep up. I tried to silence my sobs as I reached for a tissue, but the doctor kept talking. He kept sitting there, across the desk from us - his words slurring together in my mind. Nothing was good news. I asked what it all meant, trying to give my brain time to catch up. I heard the word “stillborn”, and the phrase “live only a few minutes”. No! No no no! No…this is not happening. This cannot be happening. This cannot be happening to ME… When the doctor finally left the room, Vinnie and I fell into each other arms. We didn’t speak. We just cried.
The doctor had advised we should come back in the following day for a second ultrasound and to discuss our options, including termination. That ugly word…I had no idea the number of times I would hear (and say) that word over the coming weeks. As we exited the conference room, I put on my sunglasses, attempting to conceal my now swollen face. Vinnie made an appointment for the following morning, as I stared at the receptionist who I had checked in with prior to my appointment…before my entire life changed…before they told me my baby was going to die.
A Day At Universal Studios
We allotted one day of our trip for Universal Studios. After spending two days at Universal on our last trip, we ultimately decided we really just wanted to visit Harry Potter World this time (plus ride Velocicoaster).
I came prepared. I watched all eight Harry Potter movies, TWICE, before our trip. So, I actually understood what I was seeing and riding this time, which helped A LOT! We started the day at Diagon Alley.
We of course had to get a Butterbeer, though next time I’ll probably just get an actual beer. Butterbeer is a little too sweet for me, but you have to try it at least once. I’ve now tried it twice. So, I think I’m good. We did a little window shopping before our first ride of the day: Escape from Gringotts. So much more fun this time because again, I actually knew what was going on. All of the Harry Potter rides are hard to beat in my opinion, and this one is no exception.
We placed a mobile order at Mel’s Diner and enjoyed cheeseburgers and fries for lunch before taking the Hogwarts Express to the other side of the park (make sure your ticket includes access to both sides of the park if you want to do this). The Hogwarts Express was a very neat experience! It was my first time riding it - 10/10 recommend.
Once we arrived in Hogsmeade, we popped next door to Jurassic World, where we rode Skull Island: Reign of Kong and Velocicoaster. You can definitely skip Skull Island, in my opinion. I’ve ridden it twice now, and I think I’m set for life. Velocicoaster on the other hand… This is my favorite ride in the entire world. I genuinely wish I could have the experience of riding it once a week. I seriously feel like it resets my body - physically and mentally. It is the wildest, fastest roller coaster I have ever been on, and I cannot say enough good things about it. (Sit in the back if you can!)
After Velocicoaster, we headed back to Hogsmeade, where we grabbed a couple of ciders (with a shot of firewhisky) before getting in line for Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey. This ride is another of my favorites. I don’t even mind waiting in line for this one because you’re walking through Hogwarts and getting to see spaces like Dumbledore’s office along the way.
Finally we rode Hagrid’s Magical Creatures Motorbike Adventure. I LOVE this ride y’all. It’s definitely my second favorite ride at Universal, after Velocicoaster, of course. Just as we were getting off the ride we got to see a beautiful lights and firework show at Hogwarts. It was the perfect ending to our day. Well, almost the ending…we did a little shopping before leaving the park. You know, had to get the basics: a wand, a mug, a Christmas ornament. We decided to buy our souvenirs at the end of the day in order to avoid the whole locker situation/carrying around a bunch of bags all day. The only exception being Velocicoaster…you literally can’t take anything with you on it. So, we did have to stash our small bags in a locker during that.
Overall, I think spending one day at Universal was perfect. We got to do everything we wanted to do.
-D
Magic Kingdom Day 2
If you’re going to spend a second day at any of the parks, Magic Kingdom is probably the one to pick (possibly Epcot, IF you’re drinking around the world). By spending two days at Magic Kingdom we were able to take our time through the park. PLUS, we were able to ride all of our favorites a second time. Additionally, we were able to have a slower start to our second day. We spent the morning at our hotel, and even squeezed in some pool time, which was MUCH-NEEDED.
By the time we made it into the park it was around 1:30 pm. First things first…I needed to grab my official souvenir for the trip. We had stopped by Pandora on Main Street on our first Magic Kingdom day, and I had decided on a beautiful charm for my bracelet - Cinderella’s carriage. I had waited to get it until we came back though. So, Pandora was our first stop of the day.
I thought this would be such a sweet memory of our amazing trip!
Up next, photos at the castle. Did you even go to Magic Kingdom if you don’t have pictures with the castle?
Our first day at Magic Kingdom, we caught the 12 pm parade, but were several rows of people back. So, one of our priorities for our second day was being front row for the 3 pm parade. (The parade is daily, at 12 & 3 pm.) We headed to Frontierland, and grabbed a spot on the ground right at the rope. They start roping off the street about an hour before the parade. You can still cross/access the main road up until the parade, but, thanks to the ropes, you know exactly where the front row starts on either side. We were in place by about 2:15. The forty-five minute wait ended up being TOTALLY worth it. The parade was spectacular!
After the parade we headed to Splash Mountain for our last ride on the “old version”. Shortly after our trip Splash Mountain closed. Rumor has it they will be updating it to a “Princess and the Frog” theme, set to reopen in 2024.
After Splash Mountain we grabbed a snack in Frontierland. Mini corn dogs for me, and jalapeño poppers for Megan. The poppers were DIVINE. Megan has been raving about them ever since.
We also tried the cream cheese pretzel in Tomorrowland - not impressed. I had seen these all over TikTok. So, maybe my expectations were too high, but I probably wouldn’t get one of these again.
As I mentioned, we got to ride some of our favorite rides a second time. These included Seven Dwarfs Mine Train, Space Mountain (obviously), The Haunted Mansion, Ariel’s Undersea Adventure and Pirates of the Caribbean. We also got to ride several rides we missed on our first Magic Kingdom day, including: Mad Tea Party, Tomorrowland Speedway (Megan made me drive - not a fan) and the PeopleMover (one of our favorites). I would highly suggest riding the PeopleMover at night. It’s SO much prettier.
We were able to catch the fireworks again, this time from behind the castle. Both views are cool, but I think I prefer facing the castle. The fireworks finished just in time for our dinner reservation at Be Our Guest…y’all…I’m still coming down from this experience.
Having dinner in Belle’s castle was truly one of the most magical experiences, and a highlight of the trip.
The food was amazing (best mashed potatoes of my life!), the ballroom, where we had dinner, was straight out of the movie and the Beast even made an appearance (two actually) while we were there. This was an experience that I will never forget, and one that everyone needs to have at least once. Very important: make reservations the second you can. They go FAST. We made this reservation around 60 days before our trip (as soon as we were able).
We had a wonderful, relaxing second day at Magic Kingdom. This was also our last day at any of the Disney parks, and it was the perfect ending the Disney portion of our trip.
-D
Drinking Around The World At Epcot
Fear not! I am here to share my wisdom and all I’ve learned through successfully (and unsuccessfully) drinking around the world at Epcot. In 2021, my bestie and I attempted the task, but only made it to what we thought was Morocco. It was in fact…a refreshment outpost. So, all in all we only made it to three countries (Mexico, Norway & China). Based on that disaster of an experience, we did quite a bit of planning before setting out again this year.
I will say, there is one key thing we missed…apparently you are supposed to start in Canada? Well, no one told us. So, we started in Mexico, like a couple of rookies. For your sake, I will list the drinks/locations in the reverse order we tackled them.
I will also say, as much as I hope this blog post is helpful for you, don’t be afraid to stray from what we did. We started out with a list of drinks/locations that we actually got from another blog. But, sometimes there were drink options or stands/restaurants that were more appealing to us than those on our list. If you’re going to drink 11 drinks back-to-back you need to be drinking something YOU like, which could be totally different than what we liked. We also found that the Disney employees are incredibly helpful when it comes to choosing a drink. Just let them know you are drinking around the world and they can point you in the right direction in terms of crowd favorites, etc.
Now…let the games begin….
Canada: Ottawa Apple
Where: Popcorn in Canada
Ingredients: Crown Royal Whisky, maple, apple infusion, cranberry juice
Price: $14.50
England: Pimm’s Cup
Where: Rose & Crown Pub
Ingredients: Pimm’s No. 1, Sprite
Price: $12.00
France: Veuve Clicquot Brut
Where: Les Vins des Chefs de France
Price: $15.00
*Good, though the bubbles were a bit BRUTal (pun intended) based on how quickly we had to drink these in order to finish drinking around the world before the fireworks. The amount of alcohol we had already consumed (remember…we started in Mexico) probably didn’t help either.
Morocco (actual Morocco…not the refreshment outpost): Frozen Citrus Pomegranate Slushy
Where: Oasis Sweets & Sips
Ingredients: Absolut Mandarin Vodka
Price: $16.50
Japan: Tokyo Sunset
Where: Garden House
Ingredients: Coconut Rum, Crème De Banana, Peach Schnapps, pineapple juice
Price: $8.50
*Very similar to a Tequila Sunrise.
America: Moonshine Sour
Where: Regal Eagle’s Outdoor Bar
Ingredients: Ole Smoky Blackberry Moonshine, blood orange, blackberry, lemon
Price: $14
*Delicious!
Italy: Italian Martini
Where: Tutto Gusto
Ingredients: Citron vodka, Limoncello, Triple Sec, lemon juice, sour mix
Price: $18.00
Germany: Schöfferhofer Pink Grapefruit Hefeweizen
Where: Sommerfest
Description: Easy and refreshing with light notes of citrus and spice with low bitterness.
Price: $10.75
*So yummy!
China: Kung Fu Punch
Where: Joy of Tea
Ingredients: Smirnoff Vodka, Triple Sec, mango, orange juice
Price: $12.25
Norway: Frozen Viking Coffee
Where: Kringla Bakeri Og Cafe
Ingredients: Baileys Irish Cream Liqueur, Kamora Coffee Liqueur
Price: $14.50
*This is the one drink we split, and I was glad. It’s not that it’s bad…it’s just a lot of Baileys.
Mexico: El Diablo
Where: La Cava Del Tequila De San Angel Inn
Ingredients: Ambhar Blanco Tequila, Ilegal Mezcal, fresh lime juice, agave, cucumber, jalapeño juice, hibiscus salt rim
Price: $17.00
And there you have it! A few tips:
Give yourself PLENTY of time (like 7+ hours, or the majority of your day) - chugging drink after drink is not ideal. You want to have time to enjoy them.
Be prepared for overpriced drinks - there is the occasional drink that’s less than $10, but most are closer to $15 or $20.
START IN CANADA - you heard it here first.
Wear “drinking around the world” shirts or gear - it’s fun to bump into other people doing the same thing, plus it’s just fun to be on theme.
Document the drinks/countries as you go - this could be done with a note in your phone, or in my case, I ordered a cute “passport” from Etsy. This helped so much with keeping track of what we had already accomplished (consumed)/what we had left to do (consume).
Cheers friends!!
-D
A Day At Epcot
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again…I think Epcot is SO underrated. I freaking love Epcot, y’all! There is definitely an art to managing your day here though. We’ve learned the hard way that you need to have a game plan. RIP to our 2021 feet…they will never be the same. (I am not ashamed to admit I wore my slippers this time around.)
Outfit details: ears, shirt & passport - Etsy, shorts - Amazon
If you want to drink around the world (like we did), plan to spend a good chunk of time at the World Showcase. Once you start you’d be wise to make the giant half circle, taking each country in order…more on this to come in tomorrow’s drinking around the world post. For now, just note that we decided to spend our afternoon/evening drinking around the world, which meant we needed to knock out the majority of the rides in the morning.
I nerd out over Soarin’ Around the World, y’all! This ride is such a neat experience. We started our day there, followed by Living with the Land - located in the same building. Living with the Land is a pretty lengthy ride, probably not one I’d take young children on. But, for adults…it’s a great opportunity to relax and rest your feet for a bit.
For lunch we had a reservation at the San Angel Inn Restaurante in Mexico. I had always wanted to eat here, and it did NOT disappoint. In fact, I’d say this was my favorite meal of the entire trip. Definitely make a reservation well in advance if you want to enjoy this fabulous Mexican cuisine.
After lunch we rode the boat ride located directly beside the dining area. Megan and I love a good boat ride, and we never miss the boat ride in Mexico. Speaking of boat rides, our next stop was Norway, where we rode Frozen Ever After. This is such a cute ride! Definitely one of my favorites.
Up next we hit a few nearby countries since we had already started drinking around the world in Mexico. Now…this is where the game plan I mentioned earlier, you know…the one that is so necessary, went out the window.
Epcot has a new ride, Guardians of the Galaxy, and we knew we couldn’t leave the park without experiencing it. Because this is a very popular, new ride you had to sign up in one of two virtual queues. Megan woke up at 7 am to get a spot in the first queue of the day. While she was successful, our group’s time ended up being right in the middle of our lunch reservation. So, we had a choice to make. We could wait until the one o’clock queue opened up and pray we snagged a group. OR, we could pay $14 a piece and come back at a certain time and use the lightening lane. Ultimately, we decided it was worth $14 to guarantee we got to ride. This of course, threw off our drinking around the world plans, however.
We made it to Germany, before heading across the park to ride Guardians of the Galaxy. It was not ideal from a walking perspective. But, oh my goodness this ride is so amazing. It’s unlike any ride I’ve ever ridden, and is totally worth the hoops you have to jump through. If you don’t have any reservations or aren’t on any set schedule, the queues will probably work great for you. Otherwise, I highly suggest paying the $14 to guarantee your spot. We didn’t wait long at all using the lightening lane.
After Guardians of the Galaxy, we raced back over to Italy, where we picked back up with drinking around the world. It was tight, but we just barely finished in time. We did make a brief stop in France to ride Remy’s Ratatouille Adventure - absolutely adorable.
We finished drinking around the world in Canada, which is where we watched the fireworks show at 9 pm. It was really spectacular. I think Magic Kingdom’s show is better, just because the castle adds a little something extra. However, Epcot certainly didn’t disappoint. Also, I screamed with joy when they played a song from “The Hunchback of Notre Dame” - one of my favorite Disney movies that is sorely overlooked in all of the Disney parks.
Epcot closes after the fireworks show. So, we headed home in MUCH better condition than last time. Thank you slippers! Even though we did have to make that one detour for Guardians of the Galaxy, we did a pretty good job of avoiding as much backtracking as possible. This is KEY!
Check back tomorrow for all the drinking around the world details and tips!
-D
A Day At Magic Kingdom
It’s hard to top Magic Kingdom, in my opinion. I love Epcot and, as you know, I really enjoyed Hollywood Studios this trip, but Magic Kingdom is just…well, magical.
Outfit details: ears & shirt - Etsy, skort & shoes - Amazon
We decided Magic Kingdom deserved two days this trip, which was honestly such a game changer. Despite this day being the busiest of the trip, we didn’t feel rushed to hit every single ride or try every single snack because we knew we would be back for a second day later in the week.
We arrived at the park around 10 am. We knew we needed to get an earlier start than the past couple of days, and to say our timing was perfect would be an understatement. Moments after we arrived, we got to watch the sweetest proposal in the exact spot I’m standing in the picture below.
We also made a couple of wishes at the wishing well near by.
I started the day with a warm cinnamon roll from Gaston’s Tavern. I had seen these GIANT cinnamon rolls all over TikTok. So, naturally I had to get one (and document it on TikTok). It was seriously the size of my face and absolutely delicious.
After breakfast we decided to go ahead and get one of the longest waits out of the way - Peter Pan’s Flight. It’s wild how busy this ride always is.
I do totally get the hype though. This ride is so, again…magical. It’s also unlike any other ride I’ve ever ridden, which always scores brownie points with me.
Now…this next monumental event in my life, requires a little backstory. I went to Disney for the first time when I was 14 years old. So, I never experienced Disney as a child. As an adult, I had never done any of the meet and greets, not to mention last time we were in Disney they weren’t even doing them due to COVID. So, when I realized that I could meet my favorite princess, Cinderella, this time…let’s just say I did not act 32 years old.
I had no idea what to expect, but I was SO impressed with how in character she was. She was also SO kind. I’ve never identified with my 5-year-old self more. We also got to meet Elena, who was the guest princess hanging with Cinderella that day.
She was also super sweet.
After what was truly a religious experience, we caught a few minutes of the 12 pm parade, before riding It’s a Small World. I know people have strong opinions on this ride, including Megan. She hates it and thinks it’s so creepy. But, I was able to persuade her to ride it with me anyway. I actually really love it! I have read that the dolls stay on all night, even after the music and lights are turned off though…Now THAT is CREEPY.
For lunch, we had a reservation at Cosmic Ray’s Starlight Cafe, Megan’s favorite. However, we were extremely disappointed to find out that Sonny Eclipse is no longer there. The food is still good, but it’s just not the same without Sonny.
After lunch we rode Space Mountain, one of our very favorite rides. It never disappoints. Then we headed over to the Laugh Floor for the Monsters, Inc. show. Megan LOVES Mike Wazowski, and he is surprisingly difficult to come across in the Disney World parks. Lots of Sulley, without Mike. Thankfully, we discovered this cute little show, which is hosted by Mike. Word to the wise, quite a few audience members are called out and put on the big screen during the show…I was regretfully one of them. No, seriously…I was traumatized, but Megan got a good laugh and a video…which I will not be sharing here. Sorry!
After the show, (and once I had recovered), we rode Ariel’s Undersea Adventure. I love this ride so much. It’s so cute!
Now, by this point in the day we wanted a cocktail. However, as you may or may not know, alcohol is very difficult to come by in Magic Kingdom. In fact, you’ll need a reservation. Thankfully I was able to get a last minute reservation for us at Tony’s Town Square Restaurant. We had the best waitress, y’all. She truly understood the assignment.
We tried the Canella Bellini Sparkling Peach Cocktail and the Peroni before splitting the Limoncello Sidecar, which we took as a shot, per our waitress’ recommendation since the restaurant doesn’t serve shots. She also recommended taking the monorail over to the Grand Floridian, or one of the nearby resorts with a bar. We didn’t end up doing this, but I’m keeping the idea in my back pocket for a future trip.
After our little “afternooncap”, we grabbed a couple of churros at the Frontierland Churro Cart. These were the best churros I had during our trip. They were nice and soft.
After our snack we headed to Pirates of Caribbean. We both love this ride. Megan especially loves the way it smells. Anyone else out there?
Up next, Megan wanted to ride the Jungle Cruise since she had never ridden it before. But, per usual…the wait was insanely long. So, while we waited for our time we decided to check out the nearby Enchanted Tiki Room. This was a truly terrifying experience. The entire show consists of singing birds descending from the ceiling and creepy faces appearing in the walls. We were truly in awe of just how terrible the Enchanted Tiki Room was. You heard it here. NOT worth your time.
When we finally did get to ride the Jungle Cruise, Megan agreed that it’s really a onetime experience….we don’t get the hype, but people love this ride.
By the time the Jungle Cruise was over, it was getting dark out. So, we headed for The Haunted Mansion. We purposely waited until after dark so it would be extra creepy. I’ve never seen such long lines for this ride…even the lighting lane was long. Totally worth it though. I love The Haunted Mansion.
Since we didn’t technically eat dinner, we were a little hungry after The Haunted Mansion. So, we grabbed some popcorn and Mickey pretzels at Maurice’s Amazing Popping Machine, near Gaston’s Tavern.
Now…this is important…fireworks… It’s no secret that the fireworks show at Magic Kingdom is spectacular. I just had no idea what a big deal it really is. If you want to get a spot near the castle, you’re going to need to be in place by 7 pm (the fireworks started at 8:15 when we were there). Another consideration is what you plan to do after the fireworks. I would always suggest being as close to the outside of the crowd as possible, unless you don’t mind staying put for a hot second after the fireworks. We planned to leave the park after the fireworks. So, we went to the “back”. Not the very back (people were literally packed like sardines all the way to Town Square). We didn’t want to be too far back to enjoy the show. So, we set up camp about midway down Main Street. With the exception of one little boy on his dad’s shoulders, we had a really good view. Note to my future self: no one behind you can see if you put your child on your shoulders. The show was still outstanding though! Definitely worth sticking around for.
And, that concludes our first day at Magic Kingdom. Next up: Epcot!
-D
A Day At Animal Kingdom
The last time Megan and I went to Disney World, Animal Kingdom was my favorite park. Now, if you read yesterday’s post, you know that I had a very different experience at Hollywood Studios this time, as opposed to our last trip. The same is true of Animal Kingdom. Megan and I both agreed that Animal Kingdom day was our least favorite day of the trip. Crazy, right?
So, why do we think this was? A couple of factors (in our opinion):
It’s the least “Disney” of the Disney parks.
There isn’t as much to do there.
AK closes earlier than the other parks.
Missed potential…
What do I mean by missed potential? I’m so glad you asked. I wish Pocahontas was walking around the park, and/or doing meet and greets. Maybe with Meeko (my very favorite Disney character)? Why isn’t there a Tarzan ride? Seriously, that would be perfect. Or, a Lion King roller coaster through Plymouth Rock? Just some thoughts.
Pandora is definitely the best part of the park, in our opinion. It’s also where we spent the majority of our time at AK. For everything this park may lack, it does have my favorite ride in all of Disney World - Flight of Passage. It is truly unlike any other ride I have ever ridden in my life. You get the thrill of a roller coaster with the beauty and experience of Soarin’ (located in Epcot). It’s FANTASTIC! The Na’vi River Journey, also located in Pandora, is a beautiful ride as well. We love a good boat ride, and this is one of the most beautiful, relaxing boat rides in any of the parks.
So…based on everything I’ve said so far, you might be curious how we managed to spend seven whole hours at AK. Here’s what our day looked like…
We entered the park about 11:30 am, and were greeted by this spectacular Christmas tree.
A friend had told me the parks would likely still be decorated for Christmas, even though it was approaching mid-January. I noticed some Christmas lights in Toy Story Land at Hollywood Studios, but that was about it. AK was still completely decked out though. They even had Christmas music playing throughout the park. It was fabulous.
Outfit details: ears - Etsy, shirt - old from Target, skirt - Amazon (size up)
Our goal throughout this trip was to do as little backtracking as possible, for the sake of our feet. This is harder than you might think, unfortunately. But, nonetheless, with this goal in mind, we started our day at the front of the park in Dinoland. We grabbed a couple of dinosaur-themed cocktails at the Restaurantosaurus Lounge, and then headed over to our first ride of the day - Dinosaur. Yes, that is the actual name of the ride. I confirmed. Maybe it needs a more unique name, but this ride is very underrated in my opinion. It’s lots of fun, and a little scary at times. Highly recommend.
Since we got a later start to the day, it was time for our lunch reservation at Tiffins by the time we finished up in Dinoland. We had heard that Tiffins (located on Discovery Island) was THE place to eat at AK, and I have to agree. It was delicious! A little pricey, but very worth it. We split the bread service for an appetizer, plus a red and white wine flight and we both got Shrimp & Grits. This restaurant definitely has more of a dinner vibe, which we didn’t know. However, it was nice and quiet at lunchtime, which was nice.
After lunch, we did a little backtracking over to Asia for Expedition Everest. This ride was more fun than I remembered, and I remembered it being pretty fun. Definitely a must-ride if you like roller coasters. Warning: it does go backwards for part of the time, if this is something that bothers you.
Up next, we headed across the park to Pandora. We did make a quick stop at the flamingos, of course. If you didn’t know…I LOVE flamingos!
Now this part is important…pay attention. You’re likely to find yourself waiting at some point while in Pandora. Between the lengthy lines for both Flight of Passage and the Na’vi River Journey, trust me…you’ll have some downtime. THIS is why you need to know about Pongu Pongu - this place has the yummiest, most fun cocktails in all of AK. The Rum Blossom is an absolute MUST! We enjoyed several while waiting for Flight of Passage.
As I stated earlier, Flight of Passage is my FAVORITE. It is a ride that is 100% worth the wait, and you will wait.
After Flight of Passage we did a little more backtracking over to Africa for some snacks. We grabbed a churro and some grilled corn to hold us over while we waited for the Na’vi River Journey, our last ride of the day. Again…let me reiterate, it’s great!
And, that was our day! Still lot’s of fun, just not our favorite. We’ve discussed just doing Pandora the next time we visit AK, but we’ll see. We were out of the park by 7 pm, which was good because that’s what time this park closes. From what I understand, AK closes earlier than the other parks because of the animals’ schedules. So, make sure to plan accordingly!
-D