Danielle Agrusa 6/5/24 Danielle Agrusa 6/5/24

Birthday Week At Oak Island

Yes, I’m one of those people who celebrates all week (or month) leading up to their birthday. I LOVE birthdays. Thankfully, my sweet husband is all about the extended celebrations, which this year took place on Oak Island - a precious little beach town in North Carolina. This was my first time visiting the island, but it definitely will not be my last.

Last Tuesday, we were too excited to do anything other than hit the road early. So, by 8 AM we were in route. Just under three hours later, we arrived at The Lazy Turtle, which just so happened to be basically across the street from where we were staying. This restaurant is literally ON the beach - like toes-in-the-sand on the beach.

We had a delicious lunch, and then were fortunate enough to be able to check-in early. This brings me to where we stayed. The Beach House @ Oak Island is the cutest and cleanest, plus it’s just one street back from the ocean. We could see the ocean from our balcony, and the walk to get out on the beach was approximately 30 seconds. We would definitely recommend staying here, and would love to stay again in the future. I especially loved that there was no official check-in or check-out process, at least not in the traditional sense. Similarly to checking into an Airbnb, we had a keypad on our door and were texted the code prior to check-in. Once we got the text that our room was ready, we went straight there and let ourselves in.

I was so excited about the coordinating, free koozies on our bed. I love a free koozie.

By 2 PM we were out on the beach enjoying our first afternoon on the island. The weather was perfect for our entire trip. So grateful!

For dinner we headed to nearby Southport. Per a friend’s recommendation we ate at Dry Street Pub & Pizza, and it did not disappoint. Highly recommend eating here if you are staying in OKI or Southport. The service was outstanding and the food was impeccable. Vinnie had the most delicious meatball sub (I may have had a little bit), and I had the margherita pizza. I also may or may not have left with a new t-shirt - Comfort Colors no less.

After dinner we drove by the Safe Haven house, which was so neat to see in person. All of Southport feels like it’s straight out of a movie. It is such a sweet, quaint little town. We ended up going back to our room and watching Safe Haven. It was the perfect ending to our first day of vacation.

The next morning we grabbed breakfast at Bagel Dock Express and…

doughnuts from Seaside Mermaid.

Then we hit the beach, and when I say we stayed all day, I’m talking like 9 AM to 4 PM. It was heavenly. For lunch, we didn’t even have to leave the beach. The Koko Cabana is another restaurant right on the beach, with a beautiful view of the water. It’s also delicious!! The coconut shrimp tacos were next level!

For dinner, night two, we had reservations at Island Way. I would definitely recommended making a reservation. We were there on a Wednesday night and it was packed. I understand why though. It was SO good.

For our last full day on the island, we walked the short distance from our motel to Ruby’s Coffeehouse.

Let me just say…SO CUTE! So cute that I left with another t-shirt, in fact (also Comfort Colors). Ruby’s is connected to the pier so after a yummy breakfast, we took our coffee straight down to the beach, where we once again spent the whole day. Koko Cabana was so good the first time that we ended up going back for lunch. I can also confirm that the fried green tomato tacos are so yummy!

Before we headed in to shower for dinner, we hopped in the car and drove to OKI Scoop Shop and Donuts. Y’all…let’s take a moment…look at these doughnuts.

Beautiful? Yes. But, more importantly, so so yummy! They also have the cutest (Comfort Colors) t-shirts. Yes, I obviously got one. For anyone keeping track…this was my third t-shirt of the trip. I love a good t-shirt, okay?

For dinner our last night, we headed back to Southport. I was excited to find the American Fish Company (called Ivan’s on Safe Haven). We had dinner next door at the Frying Pan. Definitely recommend!

And, that’s the recap! We had the absolute best time, and can’t wait to go back. Comment with any questions!

-D

Danielle Agrusa 5/8/24 Danielle Agrusa 5/8/24

Spring Dress Haul

I had a little extra incentive for updating my wardrobe this spring…none of my clothes were fitting. I went through my closet item by item and packed away everything that wasn’t bump friendly. Turns out that was the majority of my clothes. So, to the stores I went! Now is the time, friends! There are so many cute spring and summer options on the market right now! Starting with…

this little pink number. This is the most comfortable dress, perhaps ever. It’s thin in the best way - doesn’t feel cheap, but so light and cool. I will be living in this dress this summer! Plus, it has plenty of room for a growing bump, even though it’s not maternity. I’m wearing my true size (XL) so that Wyndsor has plenty of room to grow these next 18ish weeks. However, if you’re not pregnant, I would suggest sizing down. It comes in a bunch of fun colors, and it has pockets! Enough said. Shop here.

This green color is so fun for spring! But, if bright green isn’t your jam, there are several other, more neutral, options. This dress is not maternity, but is extremely bump friendly. Perfect for church, work, brunch…you name it. It’s also a super versatile option. I went for a more casual vibe by pairing it with sneakers, but it would be super cute with a fun pair of wedges for a slightly elevated look. Wearing my true size (XL), and I can’t forget to mention...this one has pockets too! Score! Shop here.

This little dress is perfect for all those scorching hot days in our near future. Like the first dress, it’s a super light material - perfect for the summer months! It’s also very bump friendly, although not maternity. Plus it has, you guessed it, pockets! I’m wearing my true size (XL), and there is plenty of room for my growing bump. This dress is so comfortable and easy to wear. You’ll definitely be seeing this one on repeat. Shop here.

I had my eye on this dress for weeks before I finally broke down and bought it. I loved it from the minute I laid eyes on it. It screams “SPRING!”, but it’s also unique in that it has a dark background. I did go up a size (to an XXL) to make sure I had some room to grow! I’ll also mention, that this is a petite (it’s literally the last one they had in the store). So, it hits a bit more like a midi dress on me. For reference, I’m 5’6”. Also…it has pockets!! Shop here.

You can’t do summer in the south without a white eyelet dress, y’all! This dress is so comfy. The waist is super stretchy! It would be perfect for Mother’s Day, church this summer, a summer wedding, etc. You could also absolutely dress it down with some cute sneakers. I sized up to an XXL for the bump, but I would say this dress runs true to size. And, in case you’re wondering…yes, this one has pockets too. Shop here.

Can we talk about this dress?! It is absolutely stunning. It also comes in a beautiful bright green color if you’re loving green as much as I am currently! I plan on wearing this dress for Mother’s Day and at least one summer wedding. It’s so beautiful, and the material feels so expensive. The sleeves are my favorite part! I sized up to an XXL for the bump, but I’d recommend sticking with your true size if you’re not currently pregnant. I definitely did not expect this dress to have pockets, but guess what? It does!! Shop here.

Even if it is almost summer, I still love a little black dress. This one does come in a handful of cute patterns though. This dress is perfect to throw on and run out the door. I can’t wait to pair it with sneakers. I think it will be such a cute, sporty vibe. It would also be darling with wedges for a slightly dressier look. It does have pockets…apparently every dress does now? I’m here for it! Shop here.
You can always find my outfits in my new LTK (Like To Know It) shop! Be sure to download the FREE app and follow my store (theblondegem), so you never miss a shopping opportunity!
-D

Danielle Agrusa 4/26/24 Danielle Agrusa 4/26/24

Pregnancy After Loss

I was chatting with a friend the other day, who recently had her second baby following a miscarriage. As she described the feelings and emotions she was continuing to work through, I felt so incredibly seen and understood. It can sometimes feel like I’m being ungrateful when I am anything but overjoyed by being pregnant again. But, the truth is, there are so many mixed emotions that accompany pregnancy after loss, and that is 100% okay. To recognize these emotions does not mean I’m ungrateful. It means I’m human, and I’m navigating a very tricky situation. I am so incredibly grateful for this new life growing inside of me. I already love him so much, and wouldn’t trade him for anything. However…the excitement and gratitude I feel regarding this pregnancy, do not erase the heartbreak of losing Archie just last year. I’m a big believer in the idea that you can feel two things at once. I think especially when it comes to grief and moving forward, it is natural to feel a mixture of happiness and sadness, gratefulness and bitterness.

There have been a handful of moments so far this pregnancy where I have been struck by the realization of all the things Archie is going to miss out on, and that we will miss out on experiencing with him. Last month I was shopping for Wyndsor, finding the cutest little outfits for him, when an unwelcome thought creeped into my mind. I never really got to shop for Archie. We had looked (cute baby boy’s clothes are really hard to find), but I never had the experience of picking out outfits for his first year of life, bringing them home, washing them, and putting them away in his room. And, I will never get that experience, with him. This is one of several occasions when I have been saddened by the things I’ll never get to do for Archie. We have a beautiful nursery underway for Wyndsor. We never got to that point with Archie. We found out about his condition literally days after clearing out the room that would have been his. We never got to paint, or pick out a crib, or hang his name on the wall. Instead that room sat empty/became a storage space for miscellaneous items.

I want to be very clear, these moments of grief over what will never be in NO WAY diminish my excitement over or gratefulness for Wyndsor. They also do not not change the fact that I want to give Wyndsor the very best life possible. Instead, in addition to my feelings of love for Wyndsor, I feel a sense of…is it regret? Is it guilt? I don’t know exactly what to call it. Perhaps it’s just simply sadness.

The trickiest situation to navigate thus far was our 20-week anatomy scan. If you’ve been around for awhile, you will remember that the anatomy scan was when we found out Archie did not have kidneys, and therefore would not be able to survive outside of my body. The amount of anxiety that I felt going into our anatomy scan this time around was crippling. Realistically, I knew that Wyndsor did not have the same condition, as we had an early anatomy scan at 16 weeks to confirm that he did have developing kidneys. Additionally there was no indication that anything was wrong. However, emotionally, all I could think about was the moment our world shattered last year, the look on the ultrasound tech’s face when she realized there was no amniotic fluid, the small office they took us into to wait for the doctor to come and explain we were losing our baby. As much as I wanted to watch every moment of Wyndsor’s anatomy scan, I kept finding myself closing my eyes or looking at the ceiling, just hoping and praying that it would be over soon, and that nothing would be wrong.

Thankfully, we had an essentially perfect scan. Everything looked great! It was such a huge relief! And, it is something I am so incredibly grateful for. But, I have struggled remembering the excitement, the joy, the peace we were robbed of last time. It’s a strange feeling to celebrate one child, while still grieving another. It’s something I’m learning to live with because I don’t think the ache in my soul or empty space in heart will ever fully go away. While I can’t sit in these feelings, I do have to learn to function and move forward while managing them. I’m learning to cope, but the pain is still there.

I’m nervous how I will feel the first time I hold Wyndsor. Will I think of Archie? Is it fair to Wyndsor if I do? Is it disrespectful to Archie if I don’t? These are questions no one wants to have to answer. But, this is the reality of pregnancy after loss. I never fully understood until now that getting pregnant again does not heal the wound. Having a baby does not eliminate the pain of losing one.

Looking to the future, I am so incredibly excited to meet Wyndsor and learn every little detail about his unique personality. I know I’m going to love him in a way I have never experienced, and I cannot wait until he is here. I am also aware that the pain of losing Archie, the unfairness of saying goodbye at just 19 weeks 6 days, the emptiness caused by not having him present in our family…these are all normal feelings. I am not a bad mother to Wyndsor because I feel these things, and I’m not a bad mother to Archie because I couldn’t give him the same things I’m giving Wyndsor. I do not have all the answers, but I can tell you that if you are in a season of conflicting feelings, mixed emotions, confusing thoughts, you are not alone. And, it is okay. It is okay that you feel two things at once. It is okay that grief and gratefulness coexist. You will learn to manage both, with grace and patience. And, if you are navigating pregnancy after loss, I’m sending you every bit of love and hope.

-D

Danielle Agrusa 4/17/24 Danielle Agrusa 4/17/24

We’re Pregnant!!!

I’m several months behind…let’s blame first trimester exhaustion and pregnancy brain for that. However, I’m now 19 weeks and 3 days, and feeling much more energetic though still in a bit of a brain fog. Example: I couldn’t think of the name for laundry detergent the other day. So, I apologize in advance for any typos.

Let’s back up to Christmas Day 2023 - the day we found out we were expecting! With the distraction of Christmas, I almost didn’t realize I was late - two days late to be exact. This would not have been the first time I hoped and prayed my slightly irregular cycle meant there was a baby on board. It also would not have been the first time I was devastated to find out another month had passed and I still wasn’t pregnant. So, I made a mimosa and carried on with Christmas Day, as usual. Several hours later we were opening presents at my parents’ house, when I started to feel a little suspicious. Slightly nauseous and a little light-headed, I began debating whether or not I should say anything to Vinnie. I desperately did not want to get his hopes up, just to be let down…again. For the first time in months, I didn’t have any pregnancy tests under my bathroom sink. So, thankfully, we’d run out of trash bags that morning - not something I’m usually grateful for. On the way home from my parents’, I suggested we stop at CVS (literally the only pace open on Christmas Day) to pick up some trash bags. I knew I had to act fast when we pulled into the parking lot. I needed to go into the store by myself in order to buy the pregnancy test without Vinnie knowing. As soon as the car was in park, I opened my door and said, “I’ll run in!” Anticipating another letdown, I grabbed the cheapest pregnancy test on the shelf. It was going to be negative, just like all the others. I was sure of it. After paying, I shoved the pregnancy test into my purse and walked out with our trash bags.

The moment we got home I rushed to the bathroom. One line…two lines…wait! TWO lines?!?! Surely I was seeing things, but no. There was the faintest pink line you ever did see, right next to a darker pink line. I had heard that no matter how light the second line was, if there was a second line…you’re pregnant, but I wasn’t totally convinced yet. I walked into the kitchen just in time to see Vinnie putting our new air fryer on the counter. He wanted to get my opinion on the placement of our new appliance. “I’m sorry. I’m not listening to you,” I said, as I held up the test. The look on his face told me he was just as shocked as I was. After months and months of trying, we had decided to take a break, remove the pressure, and circle back in the new year. Neither of us had even the slightest inclination we might be pregnant. “Okay, look at this line. Do you see that? It’s super light, but I think that is a second line!” Vinnie agreed it looked like a second line, but suggested we take a digital pregnancy test to eliminate any doubt. I agreed, and he jumped in the car, went back to CVS, and picked up another test. Fifteen minutes later, we sat on the couch, anxiously waiting to see “Pregnant” or “Not Pregnant”. Sure enough, the result was “Pregnant”. Talk about the best Christmas gift EVER!!

We are so excited to welcome our son, Wyndsor Rhys, this summer!

Danielle Agrusa 1/5/24 Danielle Agrusa 1/5/24

The Art Of Goal-Setting

Do you have a list of resolutions, goals, changes you hope to implement in 2024? If so, I see you! There is nothing I love more than the clean slate a new year offers. Give me all the fresh, untouched planners, journals, and goal-setting guides. I almost always have a handful of resolutions written down (and likely color-coded), by the time the ball drops on New Year’s Eve. However, the types of goals that make up my New Year’s resolutions list have changed substantially the older I’ve gotten. I suppose that might seem obvious, but let me elaborate.

There is a true art to goal-setting, whether you’re brainstorming possible resolutions simply because the calendar says it’s almost January, or contemplating how best to achieve a specific aspiration. Maybe you’re starting a new business, or working through a personal trauma. There are a plethora of reasons why you might be goal-setting. But, the important thing to remember is there are no rules. Your goals need to work for you. They should fit your personality and honor what is realistic for your life. You do not have to make a resolution to join the gym and commit to going five days a week simply because that is what everyone on social media is doing. Maybe you’re in a season where you can’t afford a gym membership, or where your health doesn’t allow for a rigorous workout five times each week. I use the example of working out because it seems to be an activity on almost every resolutions list. But, the same goes for anything really. Yes, a goal should certainly stretch you. But, it should also be something that truly makes sense based on what you hope to achieve and that is realistic in your current season of life. For example, as much as I would love to put “run 5 miles a day” on my list of resolutions for 2024 that is not something that a) I’m physically capable of at this point, and b) I see myself committing to for the next 12 months.

You know yourself better than anyone else. So, as you think about the goals you want to set for the upcoming year, be sure to ask yourself, “Is this something I really want?” “While it may not be easy or comfortable (which is okay, good even), is it realistic based on my personality, lifestyle, schedule, etc.?” “Is this goal something that is going to contribute to my big picture? If not…am I sure I want to make this a goal right now?” There is nothing more disappointing than an unmet goal. And, while you won’t meet every goal every year, you can spare yourself a lot of guilt and frustration by really thinking through the goals you set in the first place. Please hear me, I’m not saying you should only set easy goals, that you won’t have to work hard to achieve. I just think it’s important to set goals that make sense for you in the season you’re in.

One way that I like to make a goal feel more manageable is by setting mini goals. This year I made a list of both personal and professional goals for the year, and then went through month by month and set mini goals that will ultimately help me meet my yearly goals. By doing this, I was able to set broader yearly goals, made up of more specific mini goals. This allows my yearly goals to serve as more of an umbrella or general concept, under which multiple mini goals can fall. Breaking down your goals not only makes them feel more manageable, but it allows you to explore more than one way to accomplish them.

Goal-setting may feel a lot like pruning. You might start with a long list of goals, which you narrow down to a core group reflecting your top priorities for this season. Weed out those goals that don’t make sense right now. Maybe there will be a place for them another year down the road. Remember that you can’t do everything at all once. So, handpick what is most important to you for the upcoming year, and leave the rest for future you to sort through.

It’s also okay to change, or edit, your goals throughout the year. What makes sense in January, might not make sense in June. Something that seems like a great idea at the start of the year, might not end being what you want or need to focus on by the time spring flowers are starting to bloom. That’s okay. There is no rule that you can’t tweak your resolutions list as you grow and unforeseen circumstances arise. That’s the beauty of a resolution - you get to decide what works and what doesn’t. Nothing is set in stone. That perfect, color-coded list might look a little different by the end of the year, complete with scribbles, crossed out goals, and maybe even a tear or two. That’s okay. Life is messy.

As you finalize your 2024 goals, I hope you feel inspired and at peace with the direction you’re headed this year. Here we go!

-D

Danielle Agrusa 12/29/23 Danielle Agrusa 12/29/23

A Defining Year…

Each December (and May - my birthday month), I like to look back on the previous year - remember the highlights, pat myself on the back for the things I survived and overcame, and dream of what I’d like to see happen or change in the upcoming year. As 2023 draws to a close, I’ve caught myself saying (more than once) that this was an awful year. I lost my son this year. V and I experienced the immense joy and excitement of finding out we were pregnant in early February, only to be devastated by the news that our son would not survive in May. While this was among the hardest and most cruel experiences of our lives, I find myself wondering, “Does one terrible event, an awful year make?” In theory, maybe not. However, in our case, the grief we continue to walk through in these months following our loss has clouded my perspective on the year, as a whole. It feels like we have been walking through a dense fog, unable to see anything good around us. Unfortunately, I think 2023 will always be a year stained by loss, anger, sadness, and confusion, but I want to take this opportunity to remember some of the amazing moments from the past 12 months.

I started off the year in Disney World, with my bestie. There truly is no better way to kickoff a brand new year. We had the absolute best time, as all Disney adults do in the happiest place on Earth. It’s become a bit of a tradition for us to go to Disney every other year, or so, and I cannot wait for our next trip.

In February, V and I celebrated our first anniversary, with a 7-day cruise to Mexico, Honduras, and Belize. It was such a relaxing week, and it was so nice to spend time just the two of us, reflecting on our first year of marriage.

In March, I headed to Rosemary Beach, FL, to celebrate my best friend finding her lobster. It was the most perfect bachelorette weekend, complete with lots of sharks (thankfully none in the water), cutouts of the groom’s head and a bucket list that kept the bride busy throughout the weekend.

In April, my best friend got married, and I’m convinced it was the most stunning wedding there ever was. It was such a fun wedding weekend and just couldn’t have been more perfect. I had the absolute honor of being her matron of honor, and there is just nothing more special than standing by your best friend on the most important day of her life.

In May, when our lives unexpectedly changed forever, we were in an incredibly dark place. But, we received so much love and support from our friends and family. I have never felt so cared for. Our people really showed up for us. Though the circumstances were horrific, we were treated to the most distracting (and healing) beach trip by my best friend and my parents. Hilton Head Island, SC, was the perfect location for us to spend some of the first days after losing our little boy, Archie. We were able to distract ourselves for short periods, while also taking time out from life to process and grieve.

In August, we celebrated V’s birthday with a staycation, at the cutest Airbnb ever. It was ideally located near so many yummy restaurants, and we ate essentially all weekend long. Doing a staycation in our city was perfect - less than a 30 minute drive to our destination, but because we were staying in a completely different part of town, we really did feel like we were away from home.

October was an especially difficult month, since Archie’s due date was on October 6th. So, my parents sent us away for the night, to the Berry Hill Resort in South Boston, VA. The trip was a great distraction, and also gave us a chance to reflect on all we had walked through in the previous months. We celebrated Archie, with a champagne toast at midnight to ring in his “birthday”. This a tradition we plan to do each and every year to remember and honor our son.

We spent Thanksgiving in Carolina Beach, NC, with my family. It was such a relaxing trip, complete with lots of yummy food, tons of coffee on the balcony, and Koko Marie’s very first time on the beach. We also took our Christmas card pictures while we were there, and I love the way they turned out.

Christmas is one of my very favorite times of the year, and I went all out this year. I love the soft glow of Christmas lights, and have so enjoyed having our house decorated for the holidays. I’m a firm believer in leaving your Christmas decor up until after New Year’s. So, we are still enjoying all things Christmas, at least for the rest of this week.

So, what will I take away from this year? Primarily, Archie. While he will not physically enter into 2024 with us, we are forever changed by his existence. His memory and the love we have for him will be carried with us. Always. While I would not relive this year for any amount of money, I am grateful for Archie and the months we had with him. I am also grateful for the experiences and relationships that made 2023…well, less awful. No year is perfect, and there will always be ups and downs as life progresses, but I look forward to a new year, a fresh start, and the opportunity to continue healing and growing.
I hope you’ve had the most magical holiday season, and I look forward to chatting with you in the new year! Happy New Year!
-D

Danielle Agrusa 12/15/23 Danielle Agrusa 12/15/23

50 Must-Watch Christmas Movies

I couldn’t possibly narrow it down to fewer than 50 movies, y’all. I freaking ADORE Christmas movies, and there are just so many good ones. So, grab a glass of wine and start working your way through this list.