Traveling With Anxiety

I have A LOT of anxiety about traveling. Like…a lot. I’m a homebody, and I like my space. I like my sheets and pillows and towels, and most importantly…my FANS, all three of them. But, these things are small potatoes, as they say, compared to some of my bigger concerns about traveling.

The thoughts that run through my mind as I’m leaving for a trip are endless… What if the house catches on fire? What if something happens to Koko? What if Oliver runs away? What if I get claustrophobic, or hot? Wait, I’m already hot. Am I going to have a middle seat? What if this plane goes down? By the way…how is this monstrous plane + all of us + all of our luggage just casually floating through the sky? Speaking of luggage, did mine make it on board? What if I forgot something? DID I FORGET MY MEDS? …I mean it goes on and on, y’all.

I’ve never really liked being away from home, even when I was little. I rarely slept over at friend’s houses. I’d have them over to my house instead. Now, you might be thinking, “Gosh you’re high maintenance.” And, you’d be entirely correct. It’s not my favorite thing about myself, but it is without a doubt one of the consequences of my anxiety. So, I’ve learned to deal with it the best I can.

For starters, I have to be prepared. I’m already a list maker, but when it comes to planning for a trip? It’s next level. Typically I start with my planner. It’s a little easier than starting with a completely blank slate.

I go through each date I’m going to be gone, and write down any major events for that day AND the temperature/weather forecast - this is so helpful, when it comes to deciding what to wear each day. Once I know what the weather is going to be like I start piecing outfits together based on the events of the day.

From here things get a little neurotic, dare I say. I break out the Post-it notes. I like to place them (evenly spread apart), on a large flat surface (usually our bed). I then begin grabbing items for each outfit and placing them under the correct Post-it. This is the most helpful way I’ve found to make sure I don’t forget anything, like the right bra for that strapless shirt or the earrings that match that dress. That’s right, jewelry, shoes, etc. are included in this puzzle. I need to make sure I have the complete outfit.

I have a very big fear of being away from home and not having something that I want or need. So, learning the art of NOT overpacking has been a lifelong pursuit. I’m FINALLY getting the hang of it, I think. Though I do so miss the adrenaline from holding my breath while they weigh my suitcase...and then proceed to tell me my bag is overweight. Kidding…about the missing it part. That has definitely happened more than once, and it certainly didn’t help my travel anxiety.

Another list I make (that doesn’t get a Post-it, or fall under a particular day) is the “other” list. You know, things like curling irons and pajamas, essential oils and headphones. Those types of things. There is also a toiletries list.

Now, this is all well and good, but what about the actual traveling part? I’m going to talk about flying, specifically, because that’s what we will be doing for our upcoming trip to California. I’d much rather be early than late. I don’t want to be rushing through security; it already makes me sweat. I always make sure I have someone reliable to come and pick me up and get me to the airport on time (at least an hour and a half before, if not a full 2 hours.) If I can check-in before hand, I do it. If I don’t have to check a bag, I don’t. When these two things align, you can basically walk straight in and head for security.

I try to be very mindful when I’m going through security. I pay attention to the directions being called out because getting yelled at by airport security is stressful. I also pay close attention to everything I’m sending through the scanner. I can’t imagine anything more anxiety-inducing than getting on the plane, or God forbid to your destination, and realizing you don’t have something you took off or out at security.

If I haven’t already taken a Xanax by this point, I take one once I’m through security. (I will reiterate that this is a medication prescribed by my doctor, and taken responsibly). I try to stay busy both while waiting to board and on the plane. I always have a book, a snack, a water and my headphones/phone within reach. Once on board, I like to keep my personal item under the seat in front of me because it stresses me out having to ask people to move during the flight for me to get something out of the overhead bin.

The beauty of not checking a bag is avoiding baggage claim all together. Plus, it saves me a lot of time I would otherwise spend fixating on whether or not my bag made the flight/connection. Which brings me to another point. I’m of the age (32), where anxiety aside, I avoid connecting flights and crappy airlines whenever possible. A direct Delta flight is my ideal scenario.

While there is a great deal of peace that comes from getting off the plane, with my bag in hand, the anxiety doesn’t stop there. Once I arrive at my destination, one thing I try very hard to do is keep my stuff neat and organized. For example, I keep dirty clothes folded neatly, outside of my suitcase. Nothing sends me into a tailspin faster than a dirty and/or cluttered living space. So, I try to keep things much like I would at home.

Another thing I try very hard for is my/our own room. If it is at all a possibility, I want the private space. It honestly has less to do with privacy, and more to do with my need to disengage at times. I thrive on alone time, something there usually isn’t very much of on a trip. Having the ability to slip away for a few minutes (or the rest of the night) helps me avoid being overstimulated - another thing that can send me tailspinning. My tip for all my anxious introverts out there? Push for your own space. It’s okay to ask. It’s not that you don’t like, or even love and adore, the other people you are traveling with. It’s just the way you’re wired. Anyone who knows you well and/or loves you will understand.

This will be the first trip I’ve taken a diffuser on. I’m VERY excited about my new personal diffuser, as diffusers have become such an important part of my daily life at home. This diffuser is PERFECT for the airport, plane, Airbnb, you name it. With just the push of the button you get an instant 30 seconds of essential oil mist. One thing that people often forget about is the power of smell. For someone who is already anxious, an unpleasant smell…such as one found in an airport or on a plane can be very triggering, which is another great plus of the personal diffuser. (Click here to shop my Young Living site.)

Hopefully some of these tips will prove helpful the next time you travel. I also want to point out that it’s okay to say no to a trip all together. I had to say no to an extremely fun trip that I would have LOVED to go on earlier this summer. It just didn’t feel like something I could mentally manage so soon after my breakdown. Do I wish I could have gone? Yes. But, do I think I made the right choice by staying home? Also, yes. Again, people who know you well and/or love you will understand and support your decision.

Safe travels!

-D